Shorty vs. Kung Fu

Every ride home w/ my dad results in the funniest conversations.

Dad: I noticed people in the gym are nosey. They watch what you are doing.
Me: How do you know?
Dad: I don't know who they are and they ask me if something is wrong w/ my knee.
Me: Who asks you?
Dad: The people there
Me: Girl or Guy?
Dad: [pauses] Girl...Guy.
Me: hm.

[Then the song "Lovers and Friends" by Usher, Lil' Jon, and Ludacris comes on]
Dad: Why do these brothers say "Shaowty" [Translation: "Shorty", but Lil' Jon says it like that w/ his southern accent]
Dad: [yelling in the car] SHAOWTY! SHAOWTY!

[We pull up to Wendy's to get some food and he parks in the Handicap spot]
Me: Daddy this is for Handicap people
Dad: Its OK, I'll walk funny..
[He's now walking away from the car w/ a crazy ass limp, and I'm cracking the f- up b/c he's an idiot for doing that]

[Now we're standing in line at Wendy's -- and I'm still laughing from the limp]
Dad: SHAOWTY!! SHAOWTY!!
Me: [laughing] Shhhh!!
Me: [saying my order] ...and an order of chili
Dad: Gimme some Chili Willie! Chilli Willie!.... SHAOWTY!

[Driving home]
Dad: Me and your mommy used to fight... if she starts w/ me I'm gonna "SHAOWTY" her!
Me: That makes no sense
Dad: What does "Shaowty" mean?
Me: It's really pronounced "Shorty"
Dad: Ohhhh. So what are those karate fighters??
Me: WHAT?! You mean the Shaolin martial arts?? [aka Kung-Fu]
Dad: YESS.. that's it! I thought Shaowty was Shaolin. Maaaan, these brothers. [Translation: brothers=African American ppl]