Restless Post Christmas

Dear Santa,

If it's not too late, can I have the following:

- MAC Book (for my "new career")
- Trip to France or Spain (whichever you want to send me to)
- YSL black leather fit-everything-in-it bag
- Remodel Kitchen and/or Bathroom (again, whichever you see fit)

Thank you,
Jamlen

Who spends over $200 in underwear?

... ME!! $%!@&# asdjgfajkle!!!

Damn that semi-annual sale!!

Brida

Just finished a Paulo Coelho novel, "Brida".

This sounded like Coelho was talking about me: "She only managed to take part in things she could already understand. She sensed that she was missing out on something very important in life, and that if she carried on as she was, she would simply continue to repeat the same experiences over and over. And yet she didn't have the courage to change. She needed to be constantly struggling to discover her path." (pg. 19)

"She wasn't afraid of difficulties; what frightened her was being forced to choose one particular path." (pg. 75)

"The whole of man's life on the face of Earth can be summed up by that search for his Soul Mate. He may pretend to be running after wisdom, money, or power, but none of that matters. Whatever he achieves will be incomplete if he fails to find his Soul Mate." (pg. 46-47)

"We can so easily make the same mistakes over and over. We can so easily flee from everything that we desire and which life so generously places before us." (pg. 151)

"...and a great love is above the things of this world." (pg. 61)

"...people who followed certain paths only to prove that they weren't the right ones, but that wasn't as bad as choosing a path and then spending the rest of your life wondering if you'd made the right choice." (pg. 76)

"No one could make a choice without feeling afraid." (pg. 76)

"When you [are] in love, you [are] capable of learning everything and of knowing things you had never dared even to think, because love [is] the key to understanding all of the mysteries." (pg. 116)

HappYness

If there really is no constant happiness in life, and there are only moments of happiness, then I definitely had several moments of happiness this past weekend...

The genuine, simple kind of happiness. That when you look back, you slightly smile at the thought.

On the other hand, I am so lazy today and don’t want to do anything productive. Monday. Bleh.

Tired. Broke. Full. Happy. LIFE IS GOOD.

My birthday month-long celebration has finally commenced. I believe I started celebrating a week before my actual birthday, starting with lunches, then dinners and brunches came up along the way, until finally I finished with a 2-hour clean up of my apt from all the celebrations and neglect from going out to dinners/lunches/brunches.

So lets start:
Nov. 6 - Japanese lunch w/ coworkers (also Nina's bday)
Nov. 7 - Belgium restaurant "Markt" for dinner and drinks w/ Nov bday celebrants in the office
Nov. 8 - Ethiopian brunch @ meat-packing district w/ Aggie
Nov. 9 - Family lunch/dinner @ my apt
Nov. 12 - coworkers got me an oreo ice cream cake as a suprise :]
Nov. 13 - day off! Birthday girl gets breakfast, her "personal driver", lunch @ our favorite Irish pub w/ the best beer/burgers. Free shot of Petron! SHOOTING RANGE! WOo! I'm ready for my gun license!
Nov. 15 - Lunch w/ old school roomies: Kay and Agatha @ Juniors
Nov. 16 - Girls and their hubbies/significant others came over my apt where I cooked BBQ spare ribs, and Joaquin made some amazing shrimp ceviche. Beers (for the men) and sangria (for the women) were plentiful. I got drunk quick and prayed at night that I wouldn't throw up.

Now, back to normal.. boo.. ;P

THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR EVERYTHING! FROM EMAIL/PHONE/TEXT/MYSPACE/FACEBOOK BDAY WISHES TO ACTUALLY CELEBRATING W/ ME IN YOUR OWN SPECIAL WAY (bc of me you are broke. ;] sorry!!)

So now that I can reflect on being 26 years old, all I can say is: I don't feel 26 (I try to keep my health in check), I have ppl in my life who care about me, I have ppl in my life who love me and I love them back. So the economy is falling apart, everything is expensive, Wall St is doing more layoffs, I have a bit of a knee pain, but LIFE IS SO DAMN GOOD. Whatever will come my way, BRING IT! because I've gotten this far SANE, can't wait to see how much farther I can go...
As you get older, you just see the "bigger picture" and its much more gratifying than the little things.

:]

HER again...

When I find myself thinking and over-analyzing and trying to come up w/ life's conclusions, I found out that once I start listening to Alicia Keys, I forget about my disorganization and for some reason, her words and/or her melody puts things into perspective, whether just temporarily for that moment or for the rest of my day. However long this temporary sanity is, to me, she's THAT good.

Almost there....

• Markt bday dinner w/ fresh seafood and Belgium beer = $65
• Merkato (Ethiopian) bday brunch = $50
• 3 lbs. pork spare ribs from butcher = $6
• Tray of Indonesian fried beef = $50
• It's not yet my Birthday, but my Birthday month-long celebration continues = priceless

"Tired. Broke. Full. Happy. LIFE IS GOOD."
I think that should be the quote for the month of November.


Ready? ...
Happy Birthday, Nina! (Nov. 6)
Happy Birthday, Ate Alena! (Nov. 12)
Happy Birthday, Din! (Nov. 12)
Happy Birthday to Me! (Nov. 13)
Happy Birthday, Mimi! (Nov. 15)
Happy Birthday, Pris! (Nov. 23)
Happy Birthday, Baby! (Nov. 24)
Happy Birthday, Titus! (Nov. 24)
Happy Birthday, to the rest of the names I will not type out anymore! :]

Election Day '08

Today I voted for the first time in my life as an American Citizen. People died trying to give us this choice to vote so that we have a choice and have a voice in who leads our country (just ask some Communist countries about which side has the greener grass). We should honor the past efforts by exercising our rights. We proudly (and sometimes loudly) claim we live in a country of civil rights and opportunity, yet we do little to exercise these opportunities, and abuse more of these rights.

At least that's how I look at voting: You can be a believer that your vote won't count. But WHAT IF it does? Show that you care! Show that you care about a country's future. Show that you care for a country where YOU use its resources, occupy its land, brood over its economy and how it impacts our individual lives, complain (which isn't always a bad thing) about living standards (which, btw, we're blessed compared to the living standards of a 3rd world country). If you don't even like any of the candidates and what they stand for, then vote for the reason I just explained in the first paragraph.


Too bad I didn't realize the importance of voting when I turned 18. Oh well, better late than never.

I Get It! (LOTR)

I get it! I get all this hype about Lord of the Rings. The trilogy is an amazing story with even more amazing graphics on-screen. It only took me about 7 years to finally watch it (and 5 months to unwrap the mistakenly-purchased DVD trilogy). I've had the DVDs since June, and I just thought I would not be that into it. But at the end of every day, I look forward to watching it - all 6 (Extended Versions) DVDs, just not in one sitting.

It puts me in this constant suspense, with scared, hopeful, and angry feelings creeping up on me by just watching this movie. There are so many things going on that I'm worrying about each character, each situation... I find myself anxious!! It's crazy how an 18-hour trilogy can capture my attention this long, and this much.

I want to read the book now. I'm SURE it'll be even better (as if it could get any better).

If I was President...

I don't understand the American way of work, life.

We have 24 hours in a day.
For arguments' sake, lets say the average working American sleeps 6 hours a day.
That leaves you with 18 hours of wake time.
Also for arguments' sake, lets say you wake up at 6am to get ready for work,
Work a 8-10 hour day (leave the office around 6pm),
Then commute home anywhere between 30 mins to 1 hour.
That steals 13 hours - all of which you are getting ready for work, commuting to work, actually working, and commuting back home from work.
Now if I do my math correctly, 18 minus 13 = 5 hours.
So approximately for 5 days out of a 7-day week, you have 5 hours to your "real" life?!?!!

My definition of real life:
Cooking (need to feed yourself/family), cleaning (can't be a complete slob, right?), exercising (maintain good health to keep up w/ the massive American portions), PLUS the appreciation of what REALLY counts family, relationships, hobbies (need to have stuff that interests you), friendships, and can't forget Yourself (muy importante) can all be appreciated in 5 hours?!? Ice-ing my knees, cooking, or watching a good TV program just takes an hour in of itself!

There is something f'd up about this.
If I was president, EVERYONE working on average 5 days a week should work only 4 days a week for 10 hour days so that they get 3 full days (instead of of 2) free to really enjoy their LIFE (or HAVE a life). Who knows, people may be happier, lose more weight, and be better parents/children if the quality of life was improved in the smallest of ways (gotta start somewhere, right?)

Women, particularly superwomen, can have strokes in their 30s (true fact). Do we just want to do everything and conquer the world and re-define multi-tasking? Or do we just have no choice?

Ew. The toilet water at work has this tint of brown color no matter how many times you flush. That's..... nice.

Esoteric

My new favorite word...
es·o·ter·ic –adjective: understood by or meant for only the select few who have special knowledge or interest.

I like it so much, its the name of my blog. Thoughts, Ticking Time Bomb, Complex Simplicity, Esoteric.

I'm thinking too much these days. Probably financial analyzing, more than anything, b/c of the way things are going w/ the economy. Damn greedy people! The result of their greed now avalanches to EVERYONE, from senior citizens to firemen! I'm telling you, money is evil. I think I would be content living comfortably, not filthy rich. Money is the root of all evil and I've been around long enough to see people change (for the worse) w/ just a few more zeros in their salaries.

I liked this article a lot: click here

Things not to do while at work:
- blog!
- analyze/organize personal finances
- make lists (grocery, shopping)
- lists goals (not related to work)
- shop!
- web surfing (myspace, facebook, personal email, etc.)

=/

ay ay ay..

Tongue out

Spinning.
Kicked.
My.
Aaaassss.

I don't think the 2.5 glasses of sangria the night before helped.

Guilty Pleasure

...For me, is exactly what I did tonight:
- sitting indian-style
- eating my big home-made salad
- watching The Hills online
- and drinking my glass of chilled sangria

All this while the living room is chaotic and I have loads of laundry to do. I also should be roasting some vegetables.

Oh well. Tuesday night. I'm living a little.

Lost Battle. FDNY EMT. Jayla. Wall Street.

So Joaquin won this battle.

The battle of the bedroom 30+ inch vs. 26 inch LCD flat screen TV.

BACKGROUND: I wanted to replace my 19-inch TV in my bedroom, which was a pretty ancient model.
MY REQUIREMENTS: Flat screen to save space (it was sitting on top of my dresser), and no bigger than 26 inches b/c it is a bedroom (not a home theater), and I already have a 52-inch mammoth in the living room! Shoot, I'd be perfectly content w/ a 22-inch.

THE RESULTS: Joaquin carrying home a 32-inch from best buy with a tilting wall mount.
HOW THIS HAPPENED: a 26-inch top name brand was the same price as a 32-inch Best Buy brand, with just as good or better specs.
BOTTOM LINE (how this REALLY happened): I was "boxed-in" (lol), as Joaquin's business like to term their "persuasiveness".
MY BITCHING MOMENT: "My dresser is 60 inches and I am not going to put a TV that takes up HALF my dresser b/c it is not a TV stand! I want my 26-inch!"
HIS REASONING (winning moment): He would pay for the wall mount and mount the 32-inch on the wall. And besides, "a 26-inch doesn't look good mounted on a wall. It's too small."

THE DEAL: I will settle for the 32-inch, but the mounting will be done TONIGHT (same night of purchase).
....
AT 3am: As I'm sleeping, I hear "Baby, look.".

WHAT I SEE: The flat screen beautifully center-mounted in the wall above the dresser, facing the bed.
My comments: Nice Job!!! (It was neat and professional-looking - go Joaquin!).... But damn! It still looks big! Lol


MORAL OF THE STORY: Guys seem to think, "the bigger the better".
Funny how I went through the same debate (which I ALSO lost) w/ my dad and Joaquin about the living room TV (me: I want the 37-inch. both men: get the 52-inch!! .. end of story. But in the end, I'm happy with my wall mounted flat screen. It feels so MTV-Cribs like (but not really b/c mine is a 1.5 bedroom in Queens lol). Thanks babe!!! Awesome job! Now let's get the cable to work and we're set for Dexter! Damn. So many other things happened since I last posted.

Faisal = Graduated NYC's FDNY EMT (Emergency Medical Technician) program!!!!!! I'm soo proud of him! I couldn't be at the graduation, but Kuya Charlton's pictures brought a little moisture to my eyes. He looked sooo handsome in his uniform!! This picture is on my desktop at
work.


Welcome Jayla Pimentel 7lbs, 5oz. Sept 16 @ 4:44am. Saw pics and she is a beauty!!! Can't wait to see her in person! Congratulations Mimi and Charles! I'm coming over soon.

Wall Street = I can't help but sound like an uber geek here, but I just wanted to sorta kinda brag about the business my team supports: Derivatives Markets (aka Options and Futures). And this is the business that thrives on volatility, which was exactly what was happening to the market last week due to the fall of major financial firms. While the stock market lost money and/or trying to recover, we were MORE than doubling our edge (profits) last week. I'm developing a newfound respect/interest for the business we support. Pretty cool. Ok, enough class-time/brag-time =P
I came across some articles that help ppl understand exactly what's going on and how it affects us:
http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/09/17/beck.wallstreet/index.html?iref=mpstoryview


Another proud moment was reading Din's blog! You go, woman!! I admire that accomplishment... Hmm.. I have an idea what you might be when you "grow up" hehehe.

Happy Birthday, Jackie! (Sept. 5)
Happy Birthday & Welcome to the world, Jayla! (Sept. 16)
Happy Birthday, Chris! (Sept. 25)


I LOVE MY FAMILY!!!

....

Viva Mexico!

Joaquin and I are baaack! Tanned and definitely a couple of pounds heavier. :)

Cancun, Mexico was amazing!

To see pics first/only, click here (Not all the pics could be posted.. there was just too many!).

For the itinerary, read on...

Day 1 - Arrival.
Our hotel was literally paradise as soon as you step into the lobby (the 5-star/4-diamond RIU Palace Las Americas). Talk about feeling like a King/Queen! Explored the hotel and had our first dinner. The daily international buffet meals are no joke! All the food you can want/imagine. All the fresh & delicious GUACAMOLE (my weakness) and TACOS (Joaquin's weakness)! DELICIOSO!



Day 2 - Pool time! Me, drunk? Nooo.. YES!!
Breakfast was with an incredible view. Breakfast was also buffet style and I think I had everything - from tacos (yes, again) to fried plantains, eggs, pounds of bacon.. OMG, it was gluttony. Infinity pool. Bluest of blue oceans. Pool bar! MARGARITAS! Jacuzzi. More Margaritas! (definitely better than the margaritas in NYC). Jammy gets drunk (very rare). Recovered. Lunch (all you can eat again). More pool time. Dinner at Brazilian restaurant (couldn't eat bc lunch was filling, as was breakfast).



Day 3 - Chichen Itza.
One of the 7 wonders of the world. The historical background and monuments (Kukulcan being the main pyramid) were truly amazing. Not everyone knows that the Mayans were far more advanced than us mere human beings were. Joaquin says they got help from some other super power out there...
Can anyone say sunburn? Geez! Didn't know it would be hot as balls! Survived. Oh and buffet lunch was included w/ the tour. Tapas for dinner @ the hotel.



Day 4 - Ike visits.
Thunderstorm (remnants of Hurricane Ike). Italian lunch. The storm didn't stop us from going to the pool and pool bar. Met fellow New Yorkers. Tequila shots for everyone! Ay ay ay..
Joaquin fell in love with the idea of room service so we practically ordered everything on the menu. Oh, did I mention that unlimited liquor, food, and room service is included in our All-Inclusive package? ;)



Day 5 - Xcaret! (ecological park)
Oh. My. God. Gorgeous! Thanks to Mimi for the recommendation! Swam and snorkeled in the underground river that flows through underground caves (I still need to scan a pic of it later). Tropical animals (also pending a pic scan). Sea turtles bigger than you! Holding parrots. Swim with dolphins (but we didn't do that). Enjoy the pools that seems like to be naturally formed next to the sea (the pics will show you what I mean). The view! Hammocks! Beautiful & lush vegetation everywhere. Buffet lunch (again). Don't get confused by the buffets you are used to in the U.S. Their buffets are out of this world! Imagine your mom/grandma cooking for the buffet... THAT was how amazing and plentiful it was.



Day 6 - Good bye, Mexico :(
Spent the last few hours before checkout soaking up as much Mexican sun as we could. Took one last advantage of the outrageous amounts of food. We'll be coming back. And hopefully, to the same hotel (I recommend it!).



No time for partying in Cancun. Its ok. Not that much our cup of tea. But anyway, we're New Yorkers. Our night life here is as good as it gets (prideful New York moment).

Viva Mexico! :)

...

Labor Day

So today is labor day. Normally, Americans are at the beach (before it closes), at the parks, on the road, in the shopping malls for labor day sale.

Not me.

Other than being in front of this PC, I went to the park before noon with my breakfast bread, iced coffee, and my book. I dressed in sweats and sneakers for the simple pleasure of sitting indian style on the wooden bench (minus any bug bites on my already bug-bitten legs), big sunglasses, curled up with my book. I loved every minute of it: the breeze, the coffee, the book. That was my labor day. That's what I wanted to do. No crowds. Just me. Actually, I wanted to rollerblade, too, but that required someone to be with me in case I fell on my ass and needed help to get up.

Anyway, I don't know if this is just temporary or what, but I find myself enjoying quiet time, me time - more than before. With the events of the past week, I want to cherish what makes us feel alive - the breeze, the sound of children playing, the tree leaves rustling, the sun warming your skin. I want to strengthen whatever measly little peace I have within my self, and solidify it so that I don't go crazy in this crazy world.

I saw my girls last night. That too, made me happy. I witnessed some self- control. That made me happy.

It's hot. It's the noon sun right now. I learned that with the noon sun, I'm better at laying down in my quiet and brightly lit room with the breeze coming through the window and reading a book or taking a nap b/c it makes me feel like I'm reading/napping outside (without that noon sun heat).

I want a laptop. So I could quietly write a book at some remote location/park/corner/room/coffee shop, finish it one day, and by some miracle, publish it (you think?).

I want my IS 250 AWD so that I can drive as far as I want, wherever I want, with the windows down, music up, shades on, not worrying that my engine sounds like it will give up on me any moment. (and I want it so I can shoot out to Long Island upon the birth of Jayla)

I want those materialistic things that lead into an un-materialistic pleasure.

Happy Labor Day!

...

R.I.P Danny

A dreamer, a friend, a comedian, a gentleman, one of my boyfriend's bestest friends.

All he wanted was the best for everyone; he wanted to see everyone do well for themselves... and he always made sure Jowak and I appreciated the love and connection we have between each other despite any argument.

Death (especially senseless ones) are the rudest awakening to Life.

May Danny's soul rest in peace.

Daily News article

(Aug. 24, 2008)

It's been awhile, so here's Christmas, Metro Cards, Tony, and Pork Fat

Radio City's Christmas Spectcular Show tickets are now on sale.... It's JULY! Can't they at least wait until Sept when summer unofficially ends? Geez.

ANOTHER MTA fare hike!!?? WTF!!!!
Can't drive b/c gas is dumb expensive, now the train/bus fares are increasing as well?! Stop the madness!

Who gets sick in the middle of summer? Me! Crap!

After the Alicia Key's obsession, I "grew" another obsession... Anthony Bourdain and his Travel Channel show "Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations". Go see it - Monday night @ 10pm EST in the Travel Channel. So, like I did w/ A.Keys, I'm now reading Anthony's blogs. But it's so interesting! He goes around the world - sampling different cultures and the FOOD! The Food! He's not your cookie-cutter "tour guide". He says things that you are surprised they aired (like how he compares riding an elephant in Laos is like being on top of a scrotum).

The bookworm that I am, I am looking forward to read his very famous book (NOT a cook book) "Kitchen Confidential". He talks about his past (he was a former drug addict, now cigarette smoker-quitter b/c of his new baby daughter. Good for him! I love it when a man realizes it's time to BE ONE (man, dad, husband, whatever).

Speaking of food, I am craving the savory, greasy, fried pork fat I know as Chicharron. I want that slab of salty heaven now (or again?)! This is the honest reason why I run/jog: to eat cholesterol-loaded good stuff.

You know that saying that goes something like "You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot force him (or her) to drink it". It bothers me. For various reasons I won't get into (you can argue if it is a thirsty horse to begin with or just a dumb animal but blah blah blah). But I just wanted to say it bother me. So there.

What is important

From an ex-FARC hostage himself: "When you're in our situation, we realize what's important. We know. The three of us know better than any of you guys out there, it's the FAMILY. And I'd like everyone to listen very closely to that."

See people - value what is truly important. Take life slowly b/c you only have this one life - and it passes by so fast - and sometimes not the way we want it to.

3 mi.

For the first time in years I ran 3 miles non-stop on the treadmill @ the gym yesterday (approx. 30 mins of non-stop running). I could've gone longer, but I wanted to slow down and silently celebrate in my head. That felt great!

A Woman Should Have...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own,
even if she never wants to or needs to...


A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
something perfect to wear if the employer,
or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...


A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..
a youth she's content to leave behind....


A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age....


A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE .....
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...


A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who lets her cry...


A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family...


A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems,
and a recipe for a meal,
that will make her guests feel honored...


A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a feeling of control over her destiny...


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to fall in love without losing herself..


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to quit a job,
break up with a lover,
and confront a friend without;
ruining the friendship...


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that her childhood may not have been perfect...but it's over...


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW.. .
whom she can trust,
whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't take it personally...


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
where to go...
be it to her best friend's kitchen table..
or a charming Inn in the woods...
when her soul needs soothing...


EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
What she can and can't accomplish in a day...
a month...and a year...

5 lbs!

I lost another 2 lbs! Add that to the 3 lbs I previously lost in the past 2 weeks. So that's a total of 5 lbs!! Wooo freakin hoo! 8 lbs more to go!

I have to get back into working out. It's been since Memorial Day I haven't broke out in a good sweat. I just started trying this thing called "portion control" (kinda still struggling w/ it). That's usually not in my vocabulary, but I guess I have to start if I've slacked in the gym department. Buuuuut... I'll get back into the gym again. P90X was good, but it was too easy for me to be lazy b/c I'd work out at home.

It's a nice feeling to be able to go to your older siblings for advice -- everything from relationships to traveling. I like that feeling. Friends are definitely available for these sort of things, but there's a sense of gratification (is that the word I want to use? Maybe completion?) when you can go to family.

It's that time again.... I am having the itch to redecorate something in my apt, and this time, it's my bedroom. :) Can't wait. Little by little. Or not! This itch to redecorate usually happens when I find myself wanting to travel but can't for various reasons. :( Probably b/c I know I will be staring at the inside of my home for awhile so I might as well make it pretty :)

Just found out the cheapest flip flops are the most comfortable ones for me. Hm.

multi-tasking

This is insane! I'm multi-tasking beyond recognition. My parents have been staying with me for 2 months and they just left this week (*sniffles*). I miss them. So like I was saying, they left and now I feel like I have 37249087 things to do considering I didn't do a damn thing for the past 2 months. Since they were staying with me while I went to work, they cooked, cleaned, did laundry, threw out the garbage, grocery shopped. Wow - those of you staying with your parent(s) don't know how good you have it! lol.

Now that my apt is quiet, I find my garbage cans filling up, fridge barely opening, bathroom needs cleaning, laundry piling up. This is all (and more) that I have to be doing, but instead I'm blogging, bs-ing, updating my resume. Oh on top of that I'm switching between facebook and linkedin. Damn facebook! Addicting! Worst than myspace. I like facebook better, I think. We'll see b/c I'm also doing some else.

I went from having so much time after work, to feeling like I'm running out of time. And this is me not going to the gym, catching up with friends, or practicing my piano. Once I stabilize my apt and its chores, I'm sure I'll get back into the swing of things.

180 degree post

What else can go wrong!? (wait, maybe I shouldn't ask that question)

It feels like the stars are all dis-aligned for me. I get this really serious blister from playing bball last weekend. I can't wear shoes or function properly b/c I'm so overly dramatic about all injuries I get. I get a cramp on my neck muscle which is still linering. I fall going up the stairs (in public with the morning rush hour audience) not too long ago. Today, I get squished between the train doors b/c I almost missed my stop. So I'm waiting for the conductor to notice a knee and a bag sticking out from one of his doors, trying not to remember I have an audience while I silently fight w/ the train door, and pray the train won't start moving with me in that awkward and slightly painful position (these conductors are trained to see these things, right?). What seemed like minutes, the door opens a little to let me squirm out of there to catch my next train. *Sigh* I look down at my hands and they are slightly bruised from the train door incident and I have a weird pain in my thigh - from holding the door. Then I take a look at my american express current statement and I realized I spent over $500 than I anticipated. WTF.

All these physical misfortunes is not what bugs me. Its all this internal simmering going on inside my head. I had discussions here and there about this and that, but I'm still a bit unsettled. Borderline pessimistic in some areas, and slightly anxious in other areas. I need to learn how to meditate. Seriously. Remove all the crap bubbling and simmering in my head. It's all crap anyway. Time to take out the garbage.

But like most blogs that I bitch in, don't be mistaken: Life is Good. I have me, my health, my faith, family, and friends, food, shelter, clothes, a job, a life! Its just that I also have these hormones and a brain that forces me to over-think and re-think, analyze, so this is a venue where I can bitch about all that good stuff :)

In the end, I take care of myself, I worry about myself, and I have to DO ME. Life doesn't pause for anyone. So you have to think how to make the best of it. Even if that means going through the pains of figuring that one out.

There are certain things I want or wish I had in life (I'm a control freak, can't help it), but we just don't get everything. I'm still having a hard time w/ that idea. WHY CAN'T I HAVE EVERYTHING!?!? (lol - ok, pls don't take that comment seriously. I was having fun with the idea). Anyway, like I said: I'm still have a hard time dealing with that idea. :P

Some comments I came across an article worth posting:
"So my advice is, don’t choose your job over your life…do your job, and do it well, but remember it’s a job. Focus on living and loving well. Your career is just one slice of the big picture pie."

"My wife and I took a cumulative year off over 5 years at mid-career for foreign travel. We were broke for a long time but never regretted it."

LIVE LIFE & LOVE LIFE.
Take out the 2 repeating words in that statement and you get "LIVE & LOVE". Loving IS also Living. You could love a person (people), love your pet, love to travel, love your job, love your ideas, love what is there and what is not there...

I'm truly crazy. I switched up the whole mood and tone of this post. Ay ay ay. Whatever. What a whack-job of a post.

"Off" Day

Here is how my current 24 hours is kinda "off":

• Went to bed the night before a little agitated
• Dreamt I was a super model, then BAM! Woke up and realized reality (that means I DON'T have a super model body, but I think I was WISHING I did hehe)
• Woke up to horrible weather (rainy, cloudy, gray morning)
• I'm gaining weight b/c the skirt I put on in the morning was dumb tight
• Danish tasted like chicken adobo (gross!) b/c of the container they were kept in (but I ate the whole thing anyway!)
• The highlight of my day: Tripped and fell on my hands on way up from the PATH train, everyone & their mother's saw what happened to me, I couldn't get up/recover quickly b/c I was struggling to get off my hands (calmly walked out of there with my head held high but w/ a VERY bruised ego)
• Cheated on non-existant diet and ate a bag of Cheetos (320 calories!!)… ate EVERY SINGLE tiny bite (while there was an uneaten, healthy orange next to me)
• Went to get coffee and it started raining again (this time, I didn't bring my umbrella)
• Spilled hot coffee on my hand trying to run in my high heels towards the office building (surprised I didn't fall there, too!)
• Stomach is making noises (wtf!) .. Oh man, now it hurts!
• Shoes make stupid squeaky sound throughout the office whenever I walk b/c of the lotion + humidity + skin. Ugh!

Oh god, and the day isn't over! I need to go home already to save myself from further damage!

BUT!! I had a fantastic memorial day long weekend! :) BBQ, drive-in movies (watched movies under the stars, literally), saw a shooting star for a brief moment, lots of shopping and walking around @ woodbury common outlets, lots of eating, lots of driving, short road trip w/ sisters and mom, great weather.

What If .. Not.

[edited]

Sometimes you cannot go wondering "what if" anymore. If you made a decision, then you were somehow, someway guided to that decision for a reason. God took care of you. His plan for you is in motion. So you can't fight it (or you can fight it, but what if you fighting made you circle back into the same spot?). So, you just say "Ok, God, you put me here in this situation for a reason (which I'm sure even if I don't understand it now, but I trust you), now what's next? Where to?". "Can I win the lotto?" ;)

Trust that He won't abandon you. It's hard to trust, but trust is never easy in the first place -- just look at the human relationships around you.

[edited - a couple hours later]
Look what song I came across, that I never heard of before until today:

What if there was no line?
Nothing wrong, nothing right.
What if there was no time?
And no reason or rhyme.
What if you should decide, that you don't want me there by your side.
That you don't want me there in your life.

What if I got it wrong, and no poem or song
Could put right what I got wrong
Or make you feel I belong
What if you should decide that you don't want me there by your side
That you don't want me there in your life.

Every step that you take could be your biggest mistake
It could bend or it could break
But that's the risk that you take
What if you should decide
That you don't want me there in your life
That you don't want me there by your side.

Oooh, that's right
Let's take a breath jump over the side
Oooh, that's right
How can you know it when you don't even try
Oooh, that's right

Let's take a breath jump over the side
Oooh, that's right
You know that darkness always turns into light
Oooh, that's right

-"What if" by Coldplay (album: X & Y)

Thought this was appropriate for this post. Bye.

Mommies are special

So this mother's day was great! There were 8 mothers total and then on top of that, the game was "How Down Are You with Your Kids' Lingo?". My brother asked the kids the latest slang and mom's had to guess what it all meant (i.e. "That's mad money" means "That's a lot of money"; "Do me a solid" means "Do me a favor" - which my mother got, thank you very much, someone get that woman a bandana and throw up her gang signs! lol). The "trophies" were barbies (all with different halter print dresses w/ a champagne glass stand), and the prize was a very cute, "limited edition" tote bag.

Anyway, so the weather was right and the weekend was more than I expected it to be. Oh boy did my American Express take a hit!

Joaquin became the Drill Sergeant this time around with cleaning the downstairs den. After he was done, that placed looked like a new room altogether and my dad cannot stop talking about the cleanliness of it til this day. I think Joaquin scored 3890753 brownie points w/ my dad without knowing it - my dad is a clean freak. After that, Joaquin came over and it was like "Where's Joaquin?! Tell him to eat now", "Where's Joaquin!? Ask him if he wants coffee". Teacher's pet!! Lol - j/k!

The special topic of my dad this weekend was kid laziness. We noticed some of my younger nephews are getting LAAAAZY around the house (or at least super picky with the things they do)!!! Some kids need a good whipping! Now I know what my dad was talking about all these years - "that's not child abuse, that's discipline!". Amen. Then I'm reading something about one of my nieces being a slob at that age!!!?? Nooooo waaay!!! That shit does not fly in my book!! When I have kids.... I will feel sorry for their asses if they ever get lazy on me. I have no problem spoiling my kids - only if it is earned. I don't even want you in my house if you are that lazy! Laziness just shows you have no respect or gratitude for the things and privileges you have today! (roar!)

Anyway...

Mommies are special -- Happy Mother's Day!

Newspaper Man, Keep on Smiling

Every morning there is an old asian man in the subway passing free Metro newspapers to passer-byers (is that even a word?). But what strikes me is that he says "Good Morning!" with a smile to everyone (whether you are taking the paper from his extended hand or not)! If this guy ever got up on the wrong side of the bed, you wouldn't know b/c he is pleasant every single morning, Mon-Fri. Rarely do I take a newspaper from him, but I always like to return the smile and greeting by saying "Good Morning" back to him.

I wonder, does he get tired of doing this every morning? Does anything in life get him down where it will change his daily demeanor? Well, wherever he is getting those positive vibes from, I hope they never go away! I there are people out there who probably have no soul and can treat that man in the meanest and/or rudest way for no reason at all. Thinking about that gets me sad. I don't want this friendly old man being exposed to that. It's like how a parent would never want their kid to know what sadness or death is, but in reality they know it's a part of life. Well that's how I feel about this newspaper man: protective. He is a friendly, elder, little man who really starts your morning "good". A world like this needs people like him... not those stuck-up/rude/ignorant people we come across more often than we should.

2 Different Shoes

Yesterday I saw a woman on the train with two different shoes on. She probably confused them b/c they both looked similar, except one was a patent leather material (shiney) and the other was normal leather (dull). At first I thought she was trying to make a fashion trend of her own (you know, how some people are using two different colored shoe laces for their sneakers for further (or over) color-coordination). But she didn't look like the type to start her own fashion trend. The different pairs she had on had a similar style, so I could see how she could have mixed them up if she was picking them out in a dark closet/room.

It was kind of cool b/c this woman is sitting on the train and I'm wondering, and maybe she's also wondering, if anyone else sees/saw the mismatch. Then I felt special in a way that I spotted that in a crowded, rush-hour train. It was like being the ONLY person in a crowded train/room to spot, oh, let's say, a celebrity who was trying to be incognito... Kinda like I found Waldo in "Where's Waldo". Yeah, like that!

Then again, I was thinking, what if she were to be one of those people who did something just to see how people would react, or if they would notice. Could be.

She looked pretty content; not self-concious at all. But anyway, good for her! The woman who walked out of her house for a full day of work with 2 different shoes on.

Family + Sweat = Good Times.

These past 2 weekends have been great: More family-filled than I had expected, more exercising than I expected, more spending than I wanted.


Let's see if I can recap:

Friday =
After work it was P90X "Yoga X" w/ Faisal. Talk about extreme yoga! Geez! Who knew you could sweat so much stretching and balancing! Wallkill crew came to sleep over. Slumber party!!
"This is not zen-like!!!!" (--Chris and I on the same page about a yoga environment since I was trying to balance my entire lower body suspended in the air WHILE there is pillow fight + YouTube videos going on in the same living room).

Saturday =
Practiced piano. Aqueduct Flea Market shopping w/ mom and Ate Alena. Pio Pio lunch break w/ the girls. Best Buy, Daffy's, DSW. Ate Chon treated all the adults in the family to indian food. Joaquin, Faisal, and I doing P90X's Legs & Back workout. Joaquin was so tired he spent the night w/ my nephews. Those late night conversations in my living room w/ Mom, Dad, Ate Alena, and myself.

Sunday =
Practiced piano. Just hanging out w/ the boys. Kurt taught me how to play the intro to Red Hot Chili Pepper's "Under the Bridge" on the guitar. Then I played him the intro to a song Jay taught me on the electric guitar. The guitar is great to play, but I feel handicapped with my wrists contorting to different chords; the placement of my fingers/wrist/hand doesn't come natural to me. I'm sticking to the piano.

4pm rolls around and it's off to Mastic Beach, L.I. for Mimi & Charles' informal housewarming (aka, get-together). What a beautiful house and delicious food! I’m so happy for the both of them. *Sniffles* Shell, weren't we still teenagers just yesterday??? Time flies, and BAM! You're an adult w/ a mortgage and a baby on the way! (She's having a girl!! Imagine we ALL have girls?? Crazy, right!?)

Came home around 10:15pm and it was off w/ Jay and Faisal for "Kenpo X" ("Intense cardiovascular workout with punching and kicking for endurance, balance, and coordination"). I cannot believe my body could produce so much sweat! Ok, so for 85 more days, you're going to have to hear me rambling about P90X b/c it is a 90-day program guaranteeing results and kicking ass at the same time. We'll see... We'll see...

You are what you eat

It's true what they say: "You are what you eat".

Faisal and I did some grueling Polymetrics ("Explosive jumping cardio routine proven to dramatically improve athletic performance") last night on the P90X. This was numerous combos of jumps, squats, & lunges. But 1 hour before we chowed down on greasy, fried chinese food. Ate ourselves to fullness (bad idea), then started working out 1 hour later. BIIIG mistake. We even got 2 warnings: "make sure you don't eat right before this workout" (Faisal and I gave each other the uh-oh look), and "this is the "X" in P90X. It's Extreme". (both of us were like "Grrrrreeeaat" as we clutched our swollen stomachs - damn chinese food!).

Needless to say, with all that sodium in junk food, I didn't perform my best, I found myself always thirsty, and stuck with this bloated/full feeling. I "brought it", but I sure as hell didn't "conquer" it. No worries, my ass, thighs, ankles are sore as hell today. Yessss! Next DVD: 1 hour of Shoulders and Arms. Jay - you are missing out, my friend. ;)

No junk food like that for awhile! Makes you feel like crap! Even your body protests! For real, for real.

Backtracking real quick: last weekend for Mom and Kuya El-cid's belated bday celebration upstate was AWESOME! Very activity-filled (Bball, Volleyball, Bball again, quick treadmill run, naps, ALL the kids, Shopping!, ER, ride around Kuya El-cid's motorcycle, enjoying the breeze/trees/quietness). Lot's of BBQ. Too much laughing during my brother's gift opening. What was 1 night stay felt more like a 3 day stay! I love that.

Food-filled weekend

Friday night =
family friend wanted my whole family to have dinner @ her place. Ate so much chicken macaroni salad that I think I pictured me rolling home that night. Punched Faisal and Joaquin's arm with all my strength (don't ask why, I was with boys, enough said). Good punch, but not so good wrist soreness I experienced the day after.

Saturday =
gym with dad and nephew. Dad wanted to eat at his favorite diner first for some scramble eggs, 2 huge sausages, toast, coffee, and OJ. I out-ate both dad and nephew. HA! I make myself proud! Ok, so how was I going to work out right after?!?! Faisal and I decided to walk around the track first to speed up the digestion process. Did bench presses for the second time in my life (just the 25 lb. bar only). Spotted for the first time in my life. What follows the gym is muscle milk, piano practice, memorial mass for Joaquin's grandfather, mani/pedi, Boog time (quick Kennedy's stop, Rice to Riches (Joaquin ate with his eyes again), laughing til we teared, continued watching American Gangster). Home @ 1am. Dad was waiting up for me but didn't want to admit it b/c I'm supposed to be this adult now who comes home whatever time she wants. But I must admit it was cute b/c as soon as I came home and took off my shoes, he turns off the tv like like "ah, she's home. Now I can sleep". Those who care about your well-being will always be that way... I should know b/c I'm one of them with the ppl I love. Ain't nothing wrong w/ that. It feels good someone cares about you like that. :-) Weird dreams that night.

Sunday =
watched Juno on DVD. Awesome movie! (So was American Gangster). Hung out w/ nephews where they witnessed my hormonal rage/mood swings/craziness. Both made sure I had some "Relaxing Tea" (I swear that's what its called). "Simon Says" push-ups with them. Took parents out to Pio Pio to stuff faces as always. Hung out more with nephews, more pushups. Weird dreams. Again.


Hope yours was just as good as mine!

ROAR!

There are times in my life where I wish I could say the completely honest and raw truths about things (momentary or permanent). But I just want to shout it out! About everything and anything that crosses my mind. But.. Someone told me if I have nothing nice to say, I should not say anything at all. That, and also some of the things in my head are sooo far out there, too violent, too selfish, not interesting, or just plain perverse.

There are days where I want to cry out "I need attention!" (a certain kind) and not feel bad about admitting it.

Let's call this one the Gym Issue

Considering I'm there 3 times a week, my dad (who is visiting) works out daily AND at home AND on the weekends, my oh-so-athletic-and-fit nephews (who live across my apt) encouraging me to workout, how can I not eventually write about it... So here it goes.

Hardest part:
They say its getting to the gym, but for me, its getting AND staying in the gym (who says I can't leave 10 mins after I get there?) ;)

How I measure my efforts:
Sweating A LOT. Oh, and completing push-ups without passing out.

Enjoyable workout: [let me think about this one]

Pursued workout:
Arms (b/c I am in desperate need of definition)

Current motivational thoughts:
Summer. Me. In clothes with less fabric.

When in the gym, I look forward to:
Stopping my workout (lol, no j/k). Drinking my chocolate-flavored Muscle Milk (its like a chocolate milkshake, but actually good for you)

Attitude when working out:
Don't talk to me... I'm focused maaan! With my earphones, I don't want to conversate, just workout and be out. But please do tap me on the shoulder if I am doing the workout all wrong. I do smile to those I see on a regular basis, but keep it moving! =P

Enjoyable workout: [still thinking]

Hated workout:
Abdominals (ab workouts - they're boring)

Most relaxing workout:
None! Lol - I gues this would be the 10 mins of stretching I do after

Most rewarding:
Increased energy, going up a long flight of stairs with ease, fitting into clothes you once couldn't fit into, encouraging others to be fit/have a healthy heart.

Even more rewarding:
Waking up with slightly sore muscles (a testament I worked my butt off the night before), Eating whatever I want without feeling guilty, and Walking out of the gym and thinking "thank God I was able to go through it, and complete it"

Enjoyable workout:
I'd have to say a tie between squats (since I know its working out the butt) and push-ups b/c I have never been a fan of them before until I realized they workout overall arms, back, chest, and abs (yes, ALL of them)

What I struggle with:
Going to the gym - hey, it doesn't come easy for me. The funny part, I have guilty feelings if I do not go or skip a day that I'm supposed to be there. It eats at my conscious for a bit.

Boredom

[edited] [edited again] [edited once more]

Today I bonded with my stomach. Well, I was staring at it for awhile b/c it made this crying sound, and continued to do so for awhile. I guess I was silently asking it "is that you making that crying sound?". I guess its time I fed it.

I got my piano AND bedroom furniture all at the same time last week. Yay! Plus, I scheduled a piano lesson for wednesday, and the teacher is coming to my apt (sweet!).
I don't know why they got all fancy saying my piano will be a cherry wood color. Umm, dude, the piano is brown.

"Love in the Time of Cholera" - the book was better than the movie.

4/10: Its only 10am and I've already had 4 pieces of chocolate. I'm that bored, and that uninterested in my day so far. I rather be somewhere else....

4/10: I had a dream that this gi-normous cat was cuddling with me. And didn't scratch me. But then this ferret got loose and then when I went to catch it, it bit me hard! So I cursed at it, and I think I was so loud in my dream while yelling at it that I woke myself up - I must've screamed at it aloud while dreaming.

As I'm quietyly contemplating the most negative/pessimistic thoughts in my head, I hear my coworker over our divider singing quietly to herself the lyrics "everything little thing is gonna be alright". That Bob Marley song again (Three Little Birds). And I can't help but smirk inside. Fine! I will stop thinking such negative and violent thoughts.

Why is it that my best workouts at the gym are when I'm extremely exhausted during the day and dreading to go to the gym? Weird how that works.

Lately, I want to eat everything. Twice!

Hmm.. what else can I tell you?

Internet Inspiration (for everyone)

Inspiring interview w/ Al Pacino I found on the web:

1) "That's the way to live - around people who care. It may be a tough ride, but something is going to come out of it."

Amen, Al. Amen. Surround yourself with the people that truly care about you, and you'll see how much easier it will be to get through those tough times.

2) "You know, here's what I really remember about my mother. We're on the top floor of our tenement. It's freezing out. I have to go to school the next day. I'm maybe 10 years old. Down in the alleyway, my friends are calling up to me. They want me to go travelling around with them at night and have some real fun. My mother wouldn't let me. I remember being so angry with her. "Why can't I go out like everyone else? What's wrong with me?" On and on I screamed at her. She endured my wrath. And she saved my life. Because those guys down in the alley - none of them are around right now. I don't think about it that much. But it touches me now as I'm talking about it. She didn't want me out in the streets late at night. I had to do my homework. And I'm sitting here right now because of it. It's so simple, isn't it? But we forget, we just forget."

Maybe my dad has a point to his craziness that he bestows upon me, even at 25.


3) "There's a time in your life when that happens to you if you're lucky enough to have it happen. Then it goes. You start to make a living. But, you know, from time to time I try to think about life back then... and to stay in touch with it."

Basically, don't forget where you come from no matter how successful you get.


4) "we're creatures of habit"

Translate this on your own. I know what my translation is.


5) [On combating alcholism]
"I did it the way everyone does. It was part of my life, and now it no longer is. But I felt that it was time not to do it anymore. I was going to have to get through things on my own."

Strength is not easy, but it's attainable. Most definitely.


6) [Pacino] "He's doing well [Al's father], and I'm happy he is. He enjoys life. I wish I could say the same.
[Interviewer]: We all can relate to that feeling at times. What keeps people from enjoying it?
[Pacino]: I wish I knew. Part of it is habit. Part of it is genes. But we overcome these things. We start to realize that there are anodynes in life that help us through the day. I don't care if it's a walk in the park, a look out the window, a good bubble bath -- whatever. Even a meal you like, or a friend you want to call. That helps us solve all this stuff in our head."

There's the gym, meditation, reading, sports, definitely eating a good meal, surrounding yourself with positive people and things... that's just my two cents.


Sources:
http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2003/03/07/1046826526522.html
http://www.usaweekend.com/03_issues/030126/030126pacino.html

******************

Now from Oprah.com: http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/04/08/o.why.i.alone/index.html


I like this article bc its saying "women, do what YOU want to do in life... The boyfriend will come along when he comes along". You'll see that in a relationship, most women forget to do the things that they enjoy. All this attention and focus is on their bf/husband.

Its NICE to have that special someone, but its REWARDING to be comfortable in your own skin and do the things in your life that make you happy.

This article actually should apply to both single and attached women.

******************

Why do moments of crisis make me a freakin' philosopher philosophizing on philosophical mumbo jumbo? ;)

The Sequel

DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, DAMNIT!

- Rent a piano (6 month trial to see if I still have the dedication and time for a permanent & expensive instrument)
- Piano lessons (private vs. conservatory)
- Boxing/Kickboxing lessons @ the gym
- Eating smarter
- 5-10 minutes longer on the cardio machines @ the gym
- REALLY research an idea (distribution companies)
- Buy a condo with MY name on the bank loan (sooner than I think due to talk I had with Accountant)
- Changing back jamlen.com's splash page to JAMLENEWYORK (courtesy of Kuya Charlton) - I was thinking of doing the JAMLENEWYORK splash page again. I really like it and I'm at the point where my major milestones are on hold, and I'm kind of just living LIFE; Life in NY.
- Learn fluent tagalog & spanish
Apt projects (aka trips to Home Depot):
- Change the current makeshift laundry-hanging pole in the balcony
- replace bathroom faucet with a really nice one

SO WHERE AM I NOW?!?
- Called Frank & Camille's piano store and will pay them a visit this weekend to begin renting.
- Possibly taking lessons w/ their private teachers (will inquire once I get there). There's always the conservatory, which I don't mind doing.
[so that covers piano rental + lessons]
- Spoke to the boxing/kickboxing instructor @ the gym, and said "give me a month" so that I can save up for that extra non-free class
- Just had a spinach salad yesterday w/ lots of protein, having oatmeal and fruit for breakfast this morning
- Went to the gym yesterday and did an extra 5 minutes on the cardio machine.
- Will send mail (got the address already) to prominent company to inquire about this idea I have (no, not change of jobs)
- Thinking of a condo in Brooklyn now - definitely Queens or BK. The city is reaching too high and too $$$$!!!!
- Already submitted my "specs" to my brother for the JAMLENEWYORK splash page



GEEZ, I CAN'T STOP TALKING!! :]
What some married men I work with commented about married life:
"Being married for 17 years is like 10 minutes... Under water."
[Damn]
"Marriage - I don't know what the big hype was about."

Collegue: are you married?
Me: No.... Cheers! [as we part ways w/ our coffee]
Collegue: lucky you

====================

I learned that moments of sadness need to be evaluated.
Stop. Think. What am I sad about?
Turns out, there was absolutely nothing to be sad about.
The mind plays tricks on you, but in order to see that, you have to take a moment to just stop & think.

====================

For all those stressing the F- out, out there, in the words of Bob Marley:
"Don't worry, about a thing. Coz' every little thing is gonna be alright."

Thanks to Nina for reminding me I had this song "Three Little Birds".

====================

new chapter

hurt. heal. move on.

Wonder bread

I saw an airplane take off in the distance from my 10th floor window. Wonder where is it going? And can I go?

I wonder how my life is going to play out? Is the joy really not knowing?

I wonder what the rest of the world is doing right now. And how life is treating them?

I got my prayers answered (well, part of it) ... the ones that I asked for while in the bathroom today.

I wonder when the hell I'll go shop around for a piano rental and then re-take piano classes! Grrr. And when the hell will I buy the Rosetta Stone (or DL it) and learn fluent tagalog and spanish.

I know awhile back I said that we should do what makes us happy. Except, today, what makes me happy is going to Paris, so uhh, it doesn't look like making myself happy will be that easy (or cheap) right now. I'll settle for a slice of Gino's later this week.

Tax returns. I could go to the Paris trip I wanted, but I'm also thinking of investing in a new Queen size mattress. Investing in good sleep makes you a happier person. So I hear.

I bought something I shouldn't have. Oh well.

Parents are coming. yay! I'm looking for some guidance, I think.


Happy Birthday, Karen! (March 30)

Skinny Fat Kid

Last night was one of those nights:

[McDonald's]
- 10 pieces of chicken nuggets
- a cheeseburger
- fries
- apple pie
[3 minute break while I walked from the parking lot/car to my apt]
- a fried chicken wing (home-made)
- turon (Filipino banana fritter dessert)
- 2 double chocolate Milano cookies

Sometimes... I just don't know what happens to me... (or how all that food can fit into my tummy)

Reality Series

You can't make someone else happy or love someone else if you are unhappy w/ yourself or don't love yourself.

And that's the reality of it.

Even More Crap..

MORE things to add to my Things That Annoy Me list:

- why don't people flush the toilet?! Is that actually too much to ask?! Not only flushing, but how about clean up after yourselves in a public place (restroom, pantry, etc.). Does your filth reflect how you keep your home?!? Just because its not your home doesn't mean you have to get all filthy and un-hygenic about things. You still use the ammenities and share the space, so be considerate! Geez!

- people who stand still.
Grow. Improve yourself (mentally, physically, emotionally, whatever). Damnit. The world will be a better place, damnit.

***************
Lately, all I've been thinking about it food, and eating lots of it.
Indian food - daal over basmati rice, samosa, chicken makhani. Gino's Pizza. Spaghetti. Rice and lentils w/ a fried egg.
Mmmm..

***************
I need to learn how to F'in meditate!

Who will be there?

I found this drafted post dated Jan. 5, 2005 that I never posted. So here.

***************

I got to thinking...

My Dad -
Who will be there to: cook/feed me, always push me to work out and work hard, do a job 100% and not half-assed, get excited about the "good stuff" (Burberry, Gucci, New Balance, etc), say "Yes Sir/Ma'am" to a complete stranger on the phone b/c that's how he was raised in the U.S. Navy, be one of the few Republicans I know, encourage me that I can always push harder in jogging/my job/studies, repeat his stories, constantly say "see...", tell stories of "his people" (the ppl who worked under him in the Navy), encourage me to taste something he cooked (which turned out good even though I didn't want to eat it at first), share my excitement in eating the Chicken Bake from Costco's food court, go on a diet w/ me

My Mom -
Who will be there to: sew all my lose buttons and ripped clothing, always be down to shop and go out, to come home w/ something for me (whether its a bag, shirt, food, supplies, etc), treat me to haircuts and manicures/pedicures with her, always pay for our meals when we go out (just her, my dad, and I), encourage me to buy a shirt/bag/shoes/pants b/c she thinks it looks nice (then wants one in her size for herself =P), yell at me to be on top of things such as my primary care doctor/dentist/jury duty, get scared when I drive over 60mph, be the first one to jump to the backseat of a car b/c she doesn't like the front, be down to try new foods/restaurants, order 5 items in Costco's food court even if we're only 3, like her meals w/ variety (not just one main dish)

Lazy Rainy Saturday

My Lazy Saturdays consists of:

- rain. All freakin' day.
- eggs over medium on top of rice, break the yolk and mix it up w/ the rice and egg whites, and 3 strips of crispy BACON! Mmmm..
- going back into bed after breakfast
- mini nap before noon
- food tv ALL day, er'day
- shoot-n-shittin (preaching, conversing, etc) with the nephews across the hallway
- eating ice cream for lunch. very healthy
- staring out my balcony at the gray and wet world
- 3pm and still in PJs
- starting chores/to-do's whenever I feel like it

Reality series

So I'm starting this "series" in my blogs where I paint a picture of the realities I see in my life. It may be nothing to some, but still, that's the reality of it - my reality.

Reality:

I saw an immigrant worker lock up and close his food station. I saw him do a good job keeping it clean and making sure to lock everything that was supposed to be locked for the night; that everything was clean and ready for the next morning. He checked to see if he got himself together - wallet, keys, music - then he politely (with a genuine smile) says good night and bye to the rest of the staff then heads home. He's happy to have a job, to have gotten paid for one more day.

So sad that some privileged Americans (and non-Americans) who have better paying jobs/careers and opportunities than him and don't do half as a thorough job (I think it's called laziness), not to mention with a smile. What is that word? Diligent? Yeah, that little man had diligence in whatever task is offered to him at the moment. That's the way the world works. Some less fortunate people earning a honest living don't get paid much, and those who get paid more take it for granted through their performance. "Oh I'm not happy w/ my job", "my job sucks".... so do something about it! Switch jobs or change attitudes. "But it's not that easy". No shit, Sherlock. Nothing worth having is gonna be easy. Where have you been? Think of this way: It could be worse. At least while we have the opportunity to have CHOICES. Choices is what this immigrant did NOT have, but still worked diligently in his tasks.

I should mention that this post is not screaming at anyone in particular (I'm not even mad), if you, dear reader, are getting bothered by my tone. It's just I've been through a lot of the "I'm not happy" phases, and I knew nothing was going to change if I didn't initiate change. Mental or physical change. Whatever. Whatever it took to make daily life more livable without negative thoughts. I didn't do it by myself - I have those who love me and care about me and urge me on to greener pastures. (mooo..) =P

I still struggle with it everyday. But there will be that little man (or woman) who serve as visual examples that it could be worse, that LIFE really IS GOOD, no matter what bullshit is going on. You're loved/breathing/moving/loving back/thinking, right? Enough said.

That's the reality of it.

More crap...

3/7 - Today I feel skinny. That's rare.

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Another annoying thing to add to the list of my Things that Annoy Me list:
- When men do not act like gentlemen; they've lost all consideration with even the smallest things (i.e. say 'please' & 'thank you'). Be kind and considerate! Holy Jesus, it's so simple! Who raised you?! ROAR!

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I want a kid!! [WTF!? I dunno where that came from. I swear.]
To rent? To have and to hold? To own?

Oops, am I talking about real estate here? Let me clarify...
- To rent (babysit one of my younger nephews)?
- To have and to hold (babysit & actually play w/ the kid, but eventually return him to his parents)?
- To own (grow one in my tummy)?


Maybe this is happening b/c I am seeing all these adorable kids these days. Maybe because Mimi is having her first one and Karen is on her 2nd one. Maybe I just want to have one! Maybe not. roar.

Reasons people have kids:
- because you simply want one; you're ready and excited to be a parent, willing and ready to give all that love and sacrifice that comes along w/ the job
- accident (oops), but a good accident =P
- filling some void in your life
- you're forced to; pressure from family, spouse, society, etc.
- desperation to keep your current partner (how sad, for you)

Consult me in another year or a few months and see if I feel any different. This could just be a phase.

And that's all I have to say about that.

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I'm officially obsessed w/ Alicia Keys - her talent, her looks, what she stands for, how she thinks.. Everything! (well, minus a few clothes selections she's done during some events) Her MSG concert is sold out! Damn! I don't go to concerts unless I love the performer, and in this case, I love her music and what she embodies.

Besides, there's only less than a handful of albums I can listen to without skipping a song, and her "As I Am" album is one of them. Two others are Linkin Park's "Hybrid Theory" and Marc Anthony's "Contra la Corriente". Those 3 albums can stay playing in my ears without me having to find the 'skip' button to forward to the next song.

San Francisco Pics

San Francisco Pics click here

Eat, Pray, Love

-by Elizabeth Gilbert

If you can read through this entry, thank you, and go pick up the book.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()
"We must get our hearts broken sometimes. This is a good sign, having a broken heart. It means we have tried for something." (pg. 277)

"There is so much of my fate that I cannot control, but other things do fall under my jurisdiction...I can choose how I'm going to regard unfortunate circumstances in my life - whether I will see them as curses or opportunities (and on the occasions when I can't rise to the most optimistic viewpoint, because I'm feeling too damn sorry for myself, I can choose to keep trying to change my outlook)...And most of all, I can choose my thoughts." (pg. 177)

"I have searched frantically for contentment for so many years in so many ways, and all these acquisitions and accomplishments - they run you down in the end. Life, if you keep chasing it so hard, will drive you to death. Time - when pursued like a bandit - will behave like one; always remaining one county or one room ahead of you...you gotta let go and sit still and allow contentment to come to you." (pg. 155)

"Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings." (pg. 260)

"I tell her how she has to let go, man, how she's gotta learn that everything is just perfect as it is already, that the universe provides, baby." (pg. 297)

"Sex is funny...Make people do funny things...at the beginning of love. Wanting too much happiness, to much pleasure, until you make yourself sick. Lose balance...To lose balance sometimes for love is part of living a balanced life." (pg. 298)

"...all the pain of a human life is caused by words, as is all the joy. We create words to define our experience and those words bring attendant emotions that jerk us around like dogs on a leash. We get seduced by our own mantras (I'm a failure... I'm lonely... I'm a failure...) and we become monuments to them. " (pg. 325)

"After all, baby, remember what they say - sometimes the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else." (pg. 189)

"I knew that i was not finished for good, that my anger, my sadness and my shame would all creep back eventually, escaping my heart, and occupying my head once more. I knew that I would have to keep dealing with these thoughts again and again until I slowly and determinedly changed my whole life. And that this would be difficult and exhausting to do." (pg. 328)

"You ego's job isn't to serve you. Its only job is to keep itself in power...So your ego's fighting for its life, playing with your mind, trying to assert its authority, trying to keep you cornered off in a holding pen away from the rest of the universe. Don't listen to it." (pg. 140)

"And nothing pisses off a control freak more than life not goin' her way" (pg. 151)

"You make some big grandiose decision about what you need to do, or who you need to be, and then circumstances arise that immediately reveal to you how little you understood about yourself." (pg. 191)

"Over the centuries, people have tried to hold on to that state of blissful perfection through all sorts of external means - through drugs and sex and power and adrenaline and the accumulation of pretty things - but it doesn't keep. We search for happiness everywhere...Your treasure - your perfection - is within you already. But to claim it, you must leave the busy commotion of the mind and abandon the desires of the ego and enter into the silence of the heart." (pg. 197)

"The other objective of religion, of course, is to try to make sense of our chaotic world and explain the inexplicabilities we see playing our here on earth every day: the innocent suffer, the wicked are rewarded - what are we to make of all this? ... The best we can do, then, in response to our incomprehensible and dangerous world, is to practice holding equilibrium internally - no matter what insanity is transpiring out there." (pg. 206)

This is for Kuya Charlton: "Traveling is the great true love of my life. I have always felt...to travel is worth any cost or sacrifice. I am loyal and constant in my love for travel, as I have not always been loyal an constant in my other loves. I feel about travel the way a happy new mother feels about her impossible, colicky, restless newborn baby - I just don't care what it puts me through. Because I adore it. Because it's mine." (pg. 41)

"But I disappear into the person I love. I am the permeable membrane. If I love you, you can have everything. You can have my time, my devotion, my ass, my money, my family, my dog, my dog's money, my dog's time - everything. If I love you, I will carry for you all your pain, I will assume for you all your debts (in every definition of the word), I will protect you from your own insecurity, I will project upon you all sorts of good qualities that you have never actually cultivated in yourself and I will buy Christmas present for your entire family. I will give you the sun and the rain, and if they are not available, I will give you a sun check and a rain check. I will give you all this and more, until I get so exhausted and depleted that the only way I can recover my energy is by becoming infatuated with someone else." (pg. 65)

"He says all Americans are like this: repressed. Which makes them dangerous and potentially deadly when they do blow up." (pg. 58)

"My mother has made choices in her life, as we all must, and she is at peace with them. I can see her peace...Maybe some things were sacrificed, and my dad made his sacrifices, too - but who amongst us lives without sacrifice? And the question now for me is, What are my choices to be? What do I believe that i deserve in this life? Where can I accept sacrifice, and where can I not?" (pg. 83)

"To find the balance you want...you must keep your feet grounded so firmly on the earth that it's like you have four legs, instead of two. That way, you can stay in the world. But you must stop looking at the world through your head. You must look through your heart, instead. That way, you will know God." (pg. 27)

"[Heaven is] Beautiful. Everything beautiful is there. Every person beautiful is there. Everything beautiful to eat is there. Everything is love there. Heaven is love." (pg. 261)

"Many times in romance I have been a victim of my own optimism." (pg. 285)

"Different school of thought over the centuries have found different explanations for man's apparently inherently flawed state. Taoists call it imbalance, Buddism calls it ignorance, Islam blames our misery on rebellion against God, and the Judeo-Christian tradition attributes all our suffering's to original sin. Freudians say that unhappiness is the inevitable result of the clash between our natural drives and civilization's needs...The Yogis, however, say that human discontentment is a simple case of mistaken identity. We're miserable because we thinking that we are mere individuals, alone with our fears and flaws and resentments and mortality. We wrongly believe that our limited little egos constitute our whole entire nature. We have filed to recognize our deeper divine character. We don't realize that, somewhere within us all, there does exits a supreme Self who is eternally at peace. That supreme Self is our true identity, universal and divine." (pg. 122)

"Yoga is about self-mastery and the dedicated effort to haul your attention away from your endless brooding over the past and your nonstop worrying about the future so that you can seek, instead, a place of eternal presence from which you may regard yourself and your surroundings with poise...The Yogis believe a human life is a very special opportunity, because only in a human form and only with a human mind can God-realization ever occur. The turnips, the bedbugs, the coral - they never get a chance to find out who they really are. But we do have that chance." (pg. 122-123)

"You are always digging in the past or poking at the future, but rarely do you rest in this moment...If you're looking for union with the divine, this kind of forward/backward whirling is a problem. There's a reason they call God a presence- because God is right here, right now. In the present is the only place to find Him, and now is the only time." (pg. 132)

"Prayer is a relationship; half the job is mine...Destiny, I feel, is also a relationship - a play between divine grace and willful self-effort. Half of it you have no control over; half of it is absolutely in your hands, and your actions will show measurable consequences. Man is neither entirely a puppet of the gods, nor is he entirely the captain of his own destiny; he's a little of both." (pg. 177)

"Beauty attracts beauty." (pg. 85)

"Addiction is the hallmark of every infatuation-based love story. It all begins when the object of your adoration bestows upon you a heady, hallucinogenic dose of something you never even dared to admit that you wanted - an emotional speedball, perhaps, of thunderous love and roiling excitement. Son you start craving that intense attention, with the hungry obsession of any junkie. When the drug is withheld, you promptly turn sick, crazy and depleted (not to mention resentful of the dealer who encouraged this addiction in the first place but who now refuses to pony up the good stuff anymore - despite the fact you know he has it hidden somewhere, goddamn it, because he used to give it to you for free)." (pg. 20-21)

"Generally speaking, though, Americans have an inability to relax into sheer pleasure. Ours is an entertainment-seeking nation, but not necessarily a pleasure-seeking one. Americans spend billions to keep themselves amused with everything from porn to theme parks to wars, but that's not exactly the same thing as quiet enjoyment. Americans work harder and longer and more stressful hours than anyone in the world today. But...we seem to like it. Alarming statistics back this observation up, showing that many Americans feel more happy and fulfilled in their offices than they do in their own homes...Americans don't really know how to do nothing. This is the cause of that great sad American stereotype - the overstressed executive who goes on vacation, but who cannot relax." (pg. 61)

Rain drops on roses...

-waking up alone in an empty, sunny, bright apt on a Saturday morning
-catching up w/ your girlfriends
-knowing one drink can totally relax you
-that soreness your body/muscle feels letting you know you had a great workout the day before
-Joaquin showering me w/ kisses
-hugs
-"my boys" finishing my food when I'm full
-buying new shoes you really like :P
-the calm feeling that overcomes you when you are walking under an umbrella while torrential rain is pouring on the streets of NYC (of course having rain boots and no wind make this calming, otherwise, it would just be a disaster)

These are a few of my favorite things...

Lauren Hill sinus infection

So the doctor says I have a sinus infection. This is supposedly to explain why I've been sick for over a month. I am now done with my 3-day antibiotics. Let's hope this works.

Lauren Hill should come back out with an album. A really good album. As good, if not better, than the "Miseducation of Lauren Hill".

Men doing dishes = Love

Sharing with you an article my coworker found: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23015839/

Excerpt:
"When a man is willing to step up to the plate - and wash it for you -
you're going to think about him in a very different way. It's not just
that he's domesticated. It's that he recognizes that these things have
to get done. That they're not just automatically going to be done for
him. And that's hot."

conversations

Below are a collection of some interesting/fuuny conversations (had or heard).
Anonymity remains. Some info was omitted for privacy reasons.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Person A: Its important for mgrs to stand up for you, but its equally imp't they let you stand up for yourself -- that they give you wings to fly and not shelter you so much. Too much sheltering and protecting makes someone weaker than you think. Once on their own, how will they learn to walk by themselves, you know? (No more training wheels) You need to fail in order to succeed. You need to have a tough outer skin… and that's something achieved when ppl are forced to stand up for themselves. Again, there's 2 sides to the balance scale. I have too much of a weight on one side -- its not balanced. *sigh*.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&


Person A: It could also be growing pains…You realize new feelings you've never felt before or things that have bothered you that normally wouldn't. Sometimes this thing called "Life" happens", and it makes us feel utterly miserable. But the human mind is strong. We overcome more than we credit ourselves.

I'd say, as a temporary solution to feeling better, weigh it out… do the good things in your life outweigh the bad? If so, that's a good start. I've heard that some women don't find true happiness and contentment in their life until they've reached 30 or 40 or even 50. Scary, right? But our 20s are supposed to be the awkward years… finding ourself, realizations, feelings, adulthood.

Person B: But I’m normally a happy person… no not really I’m normally an unhappy person who’s expression is happy.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Person A: See... It goes to show, when someone gets caught up in complaints, they forget to see the other not-so-bad things in another person. I think if other couples were to think about the "scales of balance", there'd be less complaints in a relationship.

It's weird how humans sometimes forget to detect some of the silver linings within our own lives, but its easier when you are an observer.

Person B: Yes, I completely agree...that is why you have to surround yourself with objective friends who can see the way you act and give you feedback, and not be afraid of your outburst if they touch a nerve
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Person A: I don’t have money to spend, so that’s how I get myself into debt! *sigh…

Person B: ...I don't even have enough money to spend!!! (crying outloud!)

Person C: Let me add my sad story to this list:
- I've been sick for 1.5 months
- I can't get along w/ animals, which causes me to over-analyze that I absolutely cannot have children.

Note: Life is good. These were complaints for laughs. well, sorta. :P

Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy Valentine's Day, people! Vday is over-rated, in my opinion. I'm sure singles aren't crazy for it. It's more for new couples b/c it would be cute to see what the other person does =) Trust me, my first vday w/ Joaquin was a production - dinner @ Little Italy's best Zagat rated restaurant, surprise flower delivery (w/ a teddy bear), expensive gourmet chocolates by Jacques Torres, and a RC Nissan NSX race car from me to him. Aww, I'm reminicing, sorry. hehe

However, as a "seasoned" (or married) couple, you already know you don't need one specific day in the year to express your appreciation for your significant other (its cute, but not necessary). Besides, the restaurants are too crowded and the flower prices get too expensive. If you want to romance me, COOK for me =P lol

I'm not saying this b/c I'm bitter about vday or whatever, b/c I've had a list of good and memorable vdays. But I guess I'm speaking from a more secure position. And anyway, my boog gave me my dark chocolates and cold medicine the other day, without any specific reason; just b/c he knew I love dark chocolates and the cold medicine b/c I was sick. =) And his vday card? It was a text that reads: "I love you too babe. Thanks for being you."

Enough said. I’m content. =)


Happy Birthday, Ate Edna! (Feb. 14)
Happy Birthday, Shell's abuelo! (Feb. 14)

First Times Part 2

1) 2/13 - Last night, I think I had what felt like my first (minor?) anxiety attack. But it could have been low blood pressure (which is strange b/c its high blood pressure that runs in my family). Despite a warm environment, I had cold and calmy hands and feet, heart racing, stomach in a knot (borderline nauseous), panicking over every little thing (I even began to panic that there were too many people on the train or worry why the train was delayed), mind racing, lungs & heart feeling like they will fail (which added to the panic, which is not good). Horrible, Horrible feeling.

I don't know what could have caused it:
-Lack of vitamins & minerals (this is why ppl have to eat healthy & conciously) - although I had a good and healthy breakfast and lunch
-Build-up of stress
-Sudden change (drop/surge) in hormones
-Low blood pressure (this is probably it b/c I'm really in denial this is anything serious)

What I do know:
-I'm glad to have called Joaquin's mom for advice and that Joaquin was there - attentive and concerned, and willing to take me to the hospital if needed. However, I was in mild denial that this was serious.
-I don't ever want to go through that again.


A few hours later....

2) My first religious epiphany (well, sorta).

With so many questions around me regarding faith and who I turn to in times of need and desperation, it gets a little hectic with my emotions. It plays with my emotions. But during a wedding rehersal I couldn't keep my eyes off the couple and see how much in love he still is with his bride and how beautiful she looks smiling and nervous. Then I looked up at the very top of the wall behind the altar and read: May Almighty God Bless You, The Father and the Son, and the Holy Ghost.

I read those few words and that was all it took to extinguish most of the heavy-burden anxiety in me. Even for just that moment. I got a long way to go but I’m so content to be able to believe in something this strong that it had the ability to calm me in a split second - faster than any pill, meditation, or therapy can do. For this, my faith is unwavering. That no matter how bad things get, I'm almost (hey, it ain't perfect) sure I will still believe and still be thankful. For this I am grateful.

Amen.


3) Me FINALLY being at peace with my crazy thoughts since God-knows-when. Its called divine intervention. LOL, No, I dunno. But I'm at a better state than I was 2 weeks ago (*knock on wood* lets not go back to that evil place again). It took me awhile (with much psychoness) to get me to this place, that even if its lasts only for a moment, at least I've reached it (and I've saved a few strands of sanity/tears/eye bags/etc).

Happiness

Today, on my way home, as I came out of the train station, I asked myself "what makes me happy?"

My answer: A slice of plain cheese pizza.

And that's exactly what I had after coming out of the train station, right before I headed home.

Maybe if we asked ourselves this everyday or at least once a week, maybe we might be happier in life.

Conversations just like my Dad

A conversation I picture my Dad and I having, however, this was between Joaquin and I (the other night):

Me: What do you picture me as in my future career?

J: something in fashion

Me: [puzzled look in my face and speechless]

Me: Why??

J: Cuz you have good fashion sense

[that was cute part - my man thinking I have good fashion sense lol]

Me: so you like the way I dress?

J: Yes

Me: [silently smiling inside] But don't you think I have slightly stronger traits than fashion, especially since I'm not into fashion at all like that (think the Devil Wears Prada fashion world or Project Runway)

J: [silence]

Me: Hello! Don't you see how I like organizing and how well I do it?!

J: yeaahhh…
Me: [made an exasperated sigh and turned around] =)

J: You're good at analyzing stuff

Me: [thinking he must be referring to my over-analysis of stuff which causes arguments lol, or my current position as BA]

Me: [made another exasperated sigh and turned around again] =)

Scorpio woman

Something funny my co-worker emailed me (who is another fellow scorpio):

Scorpio woman:
She's a human X-ray machine, so don't flirt. Unless you mean business, you're wasting her time and insulting her. I wouldn't advise you to insult a Scorpio. It's just not healthy. If you don't know what I mean, ask someone who has. He may have some stories to tell that will curl your hair.

....
Just ask them men we work with... they've felt our wrath once we have put them in their place =P I think it's safe to say we've been insulted without them even knowing it! lol. boys will be boys.

It's weird. I can smell bullshit, even while its spilling from the person's mouth, but I won't do or say anything about it. Yet. I'll "keep in on file" for certain reasons. So they can just continue talking it up, looking straight into my eyes, where they think I'm lapping up their b.s. like a thirsty dog. Wrong. So wrong. O=)

Anti-Now

From CNN: "President Bush introduced a $3.1 trillion budget on Monday that supports sizable increases in military spending to fight the war on terrorism and protects his signature tax cuts."


Wow. He truly is an imbecile.

And the winning statement for the biggest lie of all: ""Two key principles guided the development of my budget -- keeping America safe and ensuring our continued prosperity," Bush said in his budget message to Congress. "As commander in chief, my highest priority is the security of the American people.""

Safe. Prosperity. Security. Words I don't relate with George W. Bush.

The country's debt is bigger than ever, I imagine.
Economy is heading towards a recession, I see.
Bush wouldn't send his daughters/grandchildren to war, as far as I can guess, so what's the deal w/ continued support and spending on the war. Aren't we out of troops who have died, commited suicide (attempted suicide), or just want to go home already?!?! We haven't even found Bin Laden!!!! (or some would like to argue the gov't knows where he is and no one is going to tell)


Source: http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/02/04/bush.budget.ap/index.html

Go Big Blue!

My Giants won!!

I'm so glad I got sick enough to stay home the whole weekend, and I got to watch the entire game - commercials and all. Football is my favorite sport, but too bad I don't watch it too much. At least I watch it when it matters, like when the Giants win the super bowl ;)

I'm SOOOO Proud of them!! They worked so hard and have always been the underdogs.

It was my nephew, Joaquin, and myself in front of my 52-inch. Wow. No wonder guys like big screen plasma tvs... Everything looks so clear! And big! Lol, you can tell I barely spend time in the living room =P I even finished my Heinekin.

Go Big Blue!

Then to "celebrate" Joaquin and I headed to Wendy's drive-thru. Oh boy. I scarfed down my spicy chicken sandwich and he inhaled his bacon cheesburger, and this was after 11pm. We were munching on tums after =/ but that's the fun part... taking off and heading to wherever you want to eat/buy whatever you want just to complain right after =)

Ticking Time Bomb

Changed my blog title. If you really know me, then you'd know this title fits. Perfectly. ;)

Well, actually, I can't take all the credit. I asked my cousin to describe me in 3 words (in preparation of an interview), and he said "ticking time bomb". He's right.

I can't help but think: was it the right path I took when that fork in the road came before me? Can't we walk backwards (not rewind) and choose the other road to satisfy the curiosity of "what if's"?

Fais...

ok ok ok... Fais is right: FIRST it's the Potato, THEN the Eggplant. Eggplant stays, nukka!! LOL

And keep on reading, keep on commenting, and stop by if you are serious about reading "The Pillars of the Earth"... it's like Wu-tang, "ain't nuthin' to fuck wit". =D

Love to Love you