I saw an airplane take off in the distance from my 10th floor window. Wonder where is it going? And can I go?
I wonder how my life is going to play out? Is the joy really not knowing?
I wonder what the rest of the world is doing right now. And how life is treating them?
I got my prayers answered (well, part of it) ... the ones that I asked for while in the bathroom today.
I wonder when the hell I'll go shop around for a piano rental and then re-take piano classes! Grrr. And when the hell will I buy the Rosetta Stone (or DL it) and learn fluent tagalog and spanish.
I know awhile back I said that we should do what makes us happy. Except, today, what makes me happy is going to Paris, so uhh, it doesn't look like making myself happy will be that easy (or cheap) right now. I'll settle for a slice of Gino's later this week.
Tax returns. I could go to the Paris trip I wanted, but I'm also thinking of investing in a new Queen size mattress. Investing in good sleep makes you a happier person. So I hear.
I bought something I shouldn't have. Oh well.
Parents are coming. yay! I'm looking for some guidance, I think.
Happy Birthday, Karen! (March 30)
3.30.2008
3.28.2008
Skinny Fat Kid
Last night was one of those nights:
[McDonald's]
- 10 pieces of chicken nuggets
- a cheeseburger
- fries
- apple pie
[3 minute break while I walked from the parking lot/car to my apt]
- a fried chicken wing (home-made)
- turon (Filipino banana fritter dessert)
- 2 double chocolate Milano cookies
Sometimes... I just don't know what happens to me... (or how all that food can fit into my tummy)
[McDonald's]
- 10 pieces of chicken nuggets
- a cheeseburger
- fries
- apple pie
[3 minute break while I walked from the parking lot/car to my apt]
- a fried chicken wing (home-made)
- turon (Filipino banana fritter dessert)
- 2 double chocolate Milano cookies
Sometimes... I just don't know what happens to me... (or how all that food can fit into my tummy)
3.25.2008
Reality Series
You can't make someone else happy or love someone else if you are unhappy w/ yourself or don't love yourself.
And that's the reality of it.
And that's the reality of it.
Even More Crap..
MORE things to add to my Things That Annoy Me list:
- why don't people flush the toilet?! Is that actually too much to ask?! Not only flushing, but how about clean up after yourselves in a public place (restroom, pantry, etc.). Does your filth reflect how you keep your home?!? Just because its not your home doesn't mean you have to get all filthy and un-hygenic about things. You still use the ammenities and share the space, so be considerate! Geez!
- people who stand still.
Grow. Improve yourself (mentally, physically, emotionally, whatever). Damnit. The world will be a better place, damnit.
***************
Lately, all I've been thinking about it food, and eating lots of it.
Indian food - daal over basmati rice, samosa, chicken makhani. Gino's Pizza. Spaghetti. Rice and lentils w/ a fried egg.
Mmmm..
***************
I need to learn how to F'in meditate!
- why don't people flush the toilet?! Is that actually too much to ask?! Not only flushing, but how about clean up after yourselves in a public place (restroom, pantry, etc.). Does your filth reflect how you keep your home?!? Just because its not your home doesn't mean you have to get all filthy and un-hygenic about things. You still use the ammenities and share the space, so be considerate! Geez!
- people who stand still.
Grow. Improve yourself (mentally, physically, emotionally, whatever). Damnit. The world will be a better place, damnit.
***************
Lately, all I've been thinking about it food, and eating lots of it.
Indian food - daal over basmati rice, samosa, chicken makhani. Gino's Pizza. Spaghetti. Rice and lentils w/ a fried egg.
Mmmm..
***************
I need to learn how to F'in meditate!
3.23.2008
Who will be there?
I found this drafted post dated Jan. 5, 2005 that I never posted. So here.
***************
I got to thinking...
My Dad -
Who will be there to: cook/feed me, always push me to work out and work hard, do a job 100% and not half-assed, get excited about the "good stuff" (Burberry, Gucci, New Balance, etc), say "Yes Sir/Ma'am" to a complete stranger on the phone b/c that's how he was raised in the U.S. Navy, be one of the few Republicans I know, encourage me that I can always push harder in jogging/my job/studies, repeat his stories, constantly say "see...", tell stories of "his people" (the ppl who worked under him in the Navy), encourage me to taste something he cooked (which turned out good even though I didn't want to eat it at first), share my excitement in eating the Chicken Bake from Costco's food court, go on a diet w/ me
My Mom -
Who will be there to: sew all my lose buttons and ripped clothing, always be down to shop and go out, to come home w/ something for me (whether its a bag, shirt, food, supplies, etc), treat me to haircuts and manicures/pedicures with her, always pay for our meals when we go out (just her, my dad, and I), encourage me to buy a shirt/bag/shoes/pants b/c she thinks it looks nice (then wants one in her size for herself =P), yell at me to be on top of things such as my primary care doctor/dentist/jury duty, get scared when I drive over 60mph, be the first one to jump to the backseat of a car b/c she doesn't like the front, be down to try new foods/restaurants, order 5 items in Costco's food court even if we're only 3, like her meals w/ variety (not just one main dish)
***************
I got to thinking...
My Dad -
Who will be there to: cook/feed me, always push me to work out and work hard, do a job 100% and not half-assed, get excited about the "good stuff" (Burberry, Gucci, New Balance, etc), say "Yes Sir/Ma'am" to a complete stranger on the phone b/c that's how he was raised in the U.S. Navy, be one of the few Republicans I know, encourage me that I can always push harder in jogging/my job/studies, repeat his stories, constantly say "see...", tell stories of "his people" (the ppl who worked under him in the Navy), encourage me to taste something he cooked (which turned out good even though I didn't want to eat it at first), share my excitement in eating the Chicken Bake from Costco's food court, go on a diet w/ me
My Mom -
Who will be there to: sew all my lose buttons and ripped clothing, always be down to shop and go out, to come home w/ something for me (whether its a bag, shirt, food, supplies, etc), treat me to haircuts and manicures/pedicures with her, always pay for our meals when we go out (just her, my dad, and I), encourage me to buy a shirt/bag/shoes/pants b/c she thinks it looks nice (then wants one in her size for herself =P), yell at me to be on top of things such as my primary care doctor/dentist/jury duty, get scared when I drive over 60mph, be the first one to jump to the backseat of a car b/c she doesn't like the front, be down to try new foods/restaurants, order 5 items in Costco's food court even if we're only 3, like her meals w/ variety (not just one main dish)
3.08.2008
Lazy Rainy Saturday
My Lazy Saturdays consists of:
- rain. All freakin' day.
- eggs over medium on top of rice, break the yolk and mix it up w/ the rice and egg whites, and 3 strips of crispy BACON! Mmmm..
- going back into bed after breakfast
- mini nap before noon
- food tv ALL day, er'day
- shoot-n-shittin (preaching, conversing, etc) with the nephews across the hallway
- eating ice cream for lunch. very healthy
- staring out my balcony at the gray and wet world
- 3pm and still in PJs
- starting chores/to-do's whenever I feel like it
- rain. All freakin' day.
- eggs over medium on top of rice, break the yolk and mix it up w/ the rice and egg whites, and 3 strips of crispy BACON! Mmmm..
- going back into bed after breakfast
- mini nap before noon
- food tv ALL day, er'day
- shoot-n-shittin (preaching, conversing, etc) with the nephews across the hallway
- eating ice cream for lunch. very healthy
- staring out my balcony at the gray and wet world
- 3pm and still in PJs
- starting chores/to-do's whenever I feel like it
3.07.2008
Reality series
So I'm starting this "series" in my blogs where I paint a picture of the realities I see in my life. It may be nothing to some, but still, that's the reality of it - my reality.
Reality:
I saw an immigrant worker lock up and close his food station. I saw him do a good job keeping it clean and making sure to lock everything that was supposed to be locked for the night; that everything was clean and ready for the next morning. He checked to see if he got himself together - wallet, keys, music - then he politely (with a genuine smile) says good night and bye to the rest of the staff then heads home. He's happy to have a job, to have gotten paid for one more day.
So sad that some privileged Americans (and non-Americans) who have better paying jobs/careers and opportunities than him and don't do half as a thorough job (I think it's called laziness), not to mention with a smile. What is that word? Diligent? Yeah, that little man had diligence in whatever task is offered to him at the moment. That's the way the world works. Some less fortunate people earning a honest living don't get paid much, and those who get paid more take it for granted through their performance. "Oh I'm not happy w/ my job", "my job sucks".... so do something about it! Switch jobs or change attitudes. "But it's not that easy". No shit, Sherlock. Nothing worth having is gonna be easy. Where have you been? Think of this way: It could be worse. At least while we have the opportunity to have CHOICES. Choices is what this immigrant did NOT have, but still worked diligently in his tasks.
I should mention that this post is not screaming at anyone in particular (I'm not even mad), if you, dear reader, are getting bothered by my tone. It's just I've been through a lot of the "I'm not happy" phases, and I knew nothing was going to change if I didn't initiate change. Mental or physical change. Whatever. Whatever it took to make daily life more livable without negative thoughts. I didn't do it by myself - I have those who love me and care about me and urge me on to greener pastures. (mooo..) =P
I still struggle with it everyday. But there will be that little man (or woman) who serve as visual examples that it could be worse, that LIFE really IS GOOD, no matter what bullshit is going on. You're loved/breathing/moving/loving back/thinking, right? Enough said.
That's the reality of it.
More crap...
3/7 - Today I feel skinny. That's rare.
%%%%%%
Another annoying thing to add to the list of my Things that Annoy Me list:
- When men do not act like gentlemen; they've lost all consideration with even the smallest things (i.e. say 'please' & 'thank you'). Be kind and considerate! Holy Jesus, it's so simple! Who raised you?! ROAR!
%%%%%%
I want a kid!! [WTF!? I dunno where that came from. I swear.]
To rent? To have and to hold? To own?
Oops, am I talking about real estate here? Let me clarify...
- To rent (babysit one of my younger nephews)?
- To have and to hold (babysit & actually play w/ the kid, but eventually return him to his parents)?
- To own (grow one in my tummy)?
Maybe this is happening b/c I am seeing all these adorable kids these days. Maybe because Mimi is having her first one and Karen is on her 2nd one. Maybe I just want to have one! Maybe not. roar.
Reasons people have kids:
- because you simply want one; you're ready and excited to be a parent, willing and ready to give all that love and sacrifice that comes along w/ the job
- accident (oops), but a good accident =P
- filling some void in your life
- you're forced to; pressure from family, spouse, society, etc.
- desperation to keep your current partner (how sad, for you)
Consult me in another year or a few months and see if I feel any different. This could just be a phase.
And that's all I have to say about that.
%%%%%%
I'm officially obsessed w/ Alicia Keys - her talent, her looks, what she stands for, how she thinks.. Everything! (well, minus a few clothes selections she's done during some events) Her MSG concert is sold out! Damn! I don't go to concerts unless I love the performer, and in this case, I love her music and what she embodies.
Besides, there's only less than a handful of albums I can listen to without skipping a song, and her "As I Am" album is one of them. Two others are Linkin Park's "Hybrid Theory" and Marc Anthony's "Contra la Corriente". Those 3 albums can stay playing in my ears without me having to find the 'skip' button to forward to the next song.
%%%%%%
Another annoying thing to add to the list of my Things that Annoy Me list:
- When men do not act like gentlemen; they've lost all consideration with even the smallest things (i.e. say 'please' & 'thank you'). Be kind and considerate! Holy Jesus, it's so simple! Who raised you?! ROAR!
%%%%%%
I want a kid!! [WTF!? I dunno where that came from. I swear.]
To rent? To have and to hold? To own?
Oops, am I talking about real estate here? Let me clarify...
- To rent (babysit one of my younger nephews)?
- To have and to hold (babysit & actually play w/ the kid, but eventually return him to his parents)?
- To own (grow one in my tummy)?
Maybe this is happening b/c I am seeing all these adorable kids these days. Maybe because Mimi is having her first one and Karen is on her 2nd one. Maybe I just want to have one! Maybe not. roar.
Reasons people have kids:
- because you simply want one; you're ready and excited to be a parent, willing and ready to give all that love and sacrifice that comes along w/ the job
- accident (oops), but a good accident =P
- filling some void in your life
- you're forced to; pressure from family, spouse, society, etc.
- desperation to keep your current partner (how sad, for you)
Consult me in another year or a few months and see if I feel any different. This could just be a phase.
And that's all I have to say about that.
%%%%%%
I'm officially obsessed w/ Alicia Keys - her talent, her looks, what she stands for, how she thinks.. Everything! (well, minus a few clothes selections she's done during some events) Her MSG concert is sold out! Damn! I don't go to concerts unless I love the performer, and in this case, I love her music and what she embodies.
Besides, there's only less than a handful of albums I can listen to without skipping a song, and her "As I Am" album is one of them. Two others are Linkin Park's "Hybrid Theory" and Marc Anthony's "Contra la Corriente". Those 3 albums can stay playing in my ears without me having to find the 'skip' button to forward to the next song.