Friday night =
family friend wanted my whole family to have dinner @ her place. Ate so much chicken macaroni salad that I think I pictured me rolling home that night. Punched Faisal and Joaquin's arm with all my strength (don't ask why, I was with boys, enough said). Good punch, but not so good wrist soreness I experienced the day after.
Saturday =
gym with dad and nephew. Dad wanted to eat at his favorite diner first for some scramble eggs, 2 huge sausages, toast, coffee, and OJ. I out-ate both dad and nephew. HA! I make myself proud! Ok, so how was I going to work out right after?!?! Faisal and I decided to walk around the track first to speed up the digestion process. Did bench presses for the second time in my life (just the 25 lb. bar only). Spotted for the first time in my life. What follows the gym is muscle milk, piano practice, memorial mass for Joaquin's grandfather, mani/pedi, Boog time (quick Kennedy's stop, Rice to Riches (Joaquin ate with his eyes again), laughing til we teared, continued watching American Gangster). Home @ 1am. Dad was waiting up for me but didn't want to admit it b/c I'm supposed to be this adult now who comes home whatever time she wants. But I must admit it was cute b/c as soon as I came home and took off my shoes, he turns off the tv like like "ah, she's home. Now I can sleep". Those who care about your well-being will always be that way... I should know b/c I'm one of them with the ppl I love. Ain't nothing wrong w/ that. It feels good someone cares about you like that. :-) Weird dreams that night.
Sunday =
watched Juno on DVD. Awesome movie! (So was American Gangster). Hung out w/ nephews where they witnessed my hormonal rage/mood swings/craziness. Both made sure I had some "Relaxing Tea" (I swear that's what its called). "Simon Says" push-ups with them. Took parents out to Pio Pio to stuff faces as always. Hung out more with nephews, more pushups. Weird dreams. Again.
Hope yours was just as good as mine!
4.21.2008
4.17.2008
ROAR!
There are times in my life where I wish I could say the completely honest and raw truths about things (momentary or permanent). But I just want to shout it out! About everything and anything that crosses my mind. But.. Someone told me if I have nothing nice to say, I should not say anything at all. That, and also some of the things in my head are sooo far out there, too violent, too selfish, not interesting, or just plain perverse.
There are days where I want to cry out "I need attention!" (a certain kind) and not feel bad about admitting it.
There are days where I want to cry out "I need attention!" (a certain kind) and not feel bad about admitting it.
Let's call this one the Gym Issue
Considering I'm there 3 times a week, my dad (who is visiting) works out daily AND at home AND on the weekends, my oh-so-athletic-and-fit nephews (who live across my apt) encouraging me to workout, how can I not eventually write about it... So here it goes.
Hardest part:
They say its getting to the gym, but for me, its getting AND staying in the gym (who says I can't leave 10 mins after I get there?) ;)
How I measure my efforts:
Sweating A LOT. Oh, and completing push-ups without passing out.
Enjoyable workout: [let me think about this one]
Pursued workout:
Arms (b/c I am in desperate need of definition)
Current motivational thoughts:
Summer. Me. In clothes with less fabric.
When in the gym, I look forward to:
Stopping my workout (lol, no j/k). Drinking my chocolate-flavored Muscle Milk (its like a chocolate milkshake, but actually good for you)
Attitude when working out:
Don't talk to me... I'm focused maaan! With my earphones, I don't want to conversate, just workout and be out. But please do tap me on the shoulder if I am doing the workout all wrong. I do smile to those I see on a regular basis, but keep it moving! =P
Enjoyable workout: [still thinking]
Hated workout:
Abdominals (ab workouts - they're boring)
Most relaxing workout:
None! Lol - I gues this would be the 10 mins of stretching I do after
Most rewarding:
Increased energy, going up a long flight of stairs with ease, fitting into clothes you once couldn't fit into, encouraging others to be fit/have a healthy heart.
Even more rewarding:
Waking up with slightly sore muscles (a testament I worked my butt off the night before), Eating whatever I want without feeling guilty, and Walking out of the gym and thinking "thank God I was able to go through it, and complete it"
Enjoyable workout:
I'd have to say a tie between squats (since I know its working out the butt) and push-ups b/c I have never been a fan of them before until I realized they workout overall arms, back, chest, and abs (yes, ALL of them)
What I struggle with:
Going to the gym - hey, it doesn't come easy for me. The funny part, I have guilty feelings if I do not go or skip a day that I'm supposed to be there. It eats at my conscious for a bit.
Hardest part:
They say its getting to the gym, but for me, its getting AND staying in the gym (who says I can't leave 10 mins after I get there?) ;)
How I measure my efforts:
Sweating A LOT. Oh, and completing push-ups without passing out.
Enjoyable workout: [let me think about this one]
Pursued workout:
Arms (b/c I am in desperate need of definition)
Current motivational thoughts:
Summer. Me. In clothes with less fabric.
When in the gym, I look forward to:
Stopping my workout (lol, no j/k). Drinking my chocolate-flavored Muscle Milk (its like a chocolate milkshake, but actually good for you)
Attitude when working out:
Don't talk to me... I'm focused maaan! With my earphones, I don't want to conversate, just workout and be out. But please do tap me on the shoulder if I am doing the workout all wrong. I do smile to those I see on a regular basis, but keep it moving! =P
Enjoyable workout: [still thinking]
Hated workout:
Abdominals (ab workouts - they're boring)
Most relaxing workout:
None! Lol - I gues this would be the 10 mins of stretching I do after
Most rewarding:
Increased energy, going up a long flight of stairs with ease, fitting into clothes you once couldn't fit into, encouraging others to be fit/have a healthy heart.
Even more rewarding:
Waking up with slightly sore muscles (a testament I worked my butt off the night before), Eating whatever I want without feeling guilty, and Walking out of the gym and thinking "thank God I was able to go through it, and complete it"
Enjoyable workout:
I'd have to say a tie between squats (since I know its working out the butt) and push-ups b/c I have never been a fan of them before until I realized they workout overall arms, back, chest, and abs (yes, ALL of them)
What I struggle with:
Going to the gym - hey, it doesn't come easy for me. The funny part, I have guilty feelings if I do not go or skip a day that I'm supposed to be there. It eats at my conscious for a bit.
4.10.2008
Boredom
[edited] [edited again] [edited once more]
Today I bonded with my stomach. Well, I was staring at it for awhile b/c it made this crying sound, and continued to do so for awhile. I guess I was silently asking it "is that you making that crying sound?". I guess its time I fed it.
I got my piano AND bedroom furniture all at the same time last week. Yay! Plus, I scheduled a piano lesson for wednesday, and the teacher is coming to my apt (sweet!).
I don't know why they got all fancy saying my piano will be a cherry wood color. Umm, dude, the piano is brown.
"Love in the Time of Cholera" - the book was better than the movie.
4/10: Its only 10am and I've already had 4 pieces of chocolate. I'm that bored, and that uninterested in my day so far. I rather be somewhere else....
4/10: I had a dream that this gi-normous cat was cuddling with me. And didn't scratch me. But then this ferret got loose and then when I went to catch it, it bit me hard! So I cursed at it, and I think I was so loud in my dream while yelling at it that I woke myself up - I must've screamed at it aloud while dreaming.
As I'm quietyly contemplating the most negative/pessimistic thoughts in my head, I hear my coworker over our divider singing quietly to herself the lyrics "everything little thing is gonna be alright". That Bob Marley song again (Three Little Birds). And I can't help but smirk inside. Fine! I will stop thinking such negative and violent thoughts.
Why is it that my best workouts at the gym are when I'm extremely exhausted during the day and dreading to go to the gym? Weird how that works.
Lately, I want to eat everything. Twice!
Hmm.. what else can I tell you?
Today I bonded with my stomach. Well, I was staring at it for awhile b/c it made this crying sound, and continued to do so for awhile. I guess I was silently asking it "is that you making that crying sound?". I guess its time I fed it.
I got my piano AND bedroom furniture all at the same time last week. Yay! Plus, I scheduled a piano lesson for wednesday, and the teacher is coming to my apt (sweet!).
I don't know why they got all fancy saying my piano will be a cherry wood color. Umm, dude, the piano is brown.
"Love in the Time of Cholera" - the book was better than the movie.
4/10: Its only 10am and I've already had 4 pieces of chocolate. I'm that bored, and that uninterested in my day so far. I rather be somewhere else....
4/10: I had a dream that this gi-normous cat was cuddling with me. And didn't scratch me. But then this ferret got loose and then when I went to catch it, it bit me hard! So I cursed at it, and I think I was so loud in my dream while yelling at it that I woke myself up - I must've screamed at it aloud while dreaming.
As I'm quietyly contemplating the most negative/pessimistic thoughts in my head, I hear my coworker over our divider singing quietly to herself the lyrics "everything little thing is gonna be alright". That Bob Marley song again (Three Little Birds). And I can't help but smirk inside. Fine! I will stop thinking such negative and violent thoughts.
Why is it that my best workouts at the gym are when I'm extremely exhausted during the day and dreading to go to the gym? Weird how that works.
Lately, I want to eat everything. Twice!
Hmm.. what else can I tell you?
4.07.2008
Internet Inspiration (for everyone)
Inspiring interview w/ Al Pacino I found on the web:
1) "That's the way to live - around people who care. It may be a tough ride, but something is going to come out of it."
Amen, Al. Amen. Surround yourself with the people that truly care about you, and you'll see how much easier it will be to get through those tough times.
2) "You know, here's what I really remember about my mother. We're on the top floor of our tenement. It's freezing out. I have to go to school the next day. I'm maybe 10 years old. Down in the alleyway, my friends are calling up to me. They want me to go travelling around with them at night and have some real fun. My mother wouldn't let me. I remember being so angry with her. "Why can't I go out like everyone else? What's wrong with me?" On and on I screamed at her. She endured my wrath. And she saved my life. Because those guys down in the alley - none of them are around right now. I don't think about it that much. But it touches me now as I'm talking about it. She didn't want me out in the streets late at night. I had to do my homework. And I'm sitting here right now because of it. It's so simple, isn't it? But we forget, we just forget."
Maybe my dad has a point to his craziness that he bestows upon me, even at 25.
3) "There's a time in your life when that happens to you if you're lucky enough to have it happen. Then it goes. You start to make a living. But, you know, from time to time I try to think about life back then... and to stay in touch with it."
Basically, don't forget where you come from no matter how successful you get.
4) "we're creatures of habit"
Translate this on your own. I know what my translation is.
5) [On combating alcholism]
"I did it the way everyone does. It was part of my life, and now it no longer is. But I felt that it was time not to do it anymore. I was going to have to get through things on my own."
Strength is not easy, but it's attainable. Most definitely.
6) [Pacino] "He's doing well [Al's father], and I'm happy he is. He enjoys life. I wish I could say the same.
[Interviewer]: We all can relate to that feeling at times. What keeps people from enjoying it?
[Pacino]: I wish I knew. Part of it is habit. Part of it is genes. But we overcome these things. We start to realize that there are anodynes in life that help us through the day. I don't care if it's a walk in the park, a look out the window, a good bubble bath -- whatever. Even a meal you like, or a friend you want to call. That helps us solve all this stuff in our head."
There's the gym, meditation, reading, sports, definitely eating a good meal, surrounding yourself with positive people and things... that's just my two cents.
Sources:
http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2003/03/07/1046826526522.html
http://www.usaweekend.com/03_issues/030126/030126pacino.html
******************
Now from Oprah.com: http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/04/08/o.why.i.alone/index.html
I like this article bc its saying "women, do what YOU want to do in life... The boyfriend will come along when he comes along". You'll see that in a relationship, most women forget to do the things that they enjoy. All this attention and focus is on their bf/husband.
Its NICE to have that special someone, but its REWARDING to be comfortable in your own skin and do the things in your life that make you happy.
This article actually should apply to both single and attached women.
******************
Why do moments of crisis make me a freakin' philosopher philosophizing on philosophical mumbo jumbo? ;)
1) "That's the way to live - around people who care. It may be a tough ride, but something is going to come out of it."
Amen, Al. Amen. Surround yourself with the people that truly care about you, and you'll see how much easier it will be to get through those tough times.
2) "You know, here's what I really remember about my mother. We're on the top floor of our tenement. It's freezing out. I have to go to school the next day. I'm maybe 10 years old. Down in the alleyway, my friends are calling up to me. They want me to go travelling around with them at night and have some real fun. My mother wouldn't let me. I remember being so angry with her. "Why can't I go out like everyone else? What's wrong with me?" On and on I screamed at her. She endured my wrath. And she saved my life. Because those guys down in the alley - none of them are around right now. I don't think about it that much. But it touches me now as I'm talking about it. She didn't want me out in the streets late at night. I had to do my homework. And I'm sitting here right now because of it. It's so simple, isn't it? But we forget, we just forget."
Maybe my dad has a point to his craziness that he bestows upon me, even at 25.
3) "There's a time in your life when that happens to you if you're lucky enough to have it happen. Then it goes. You start to make a living. But, you know, from time to time I try to think about life back then... and to stay in touch with it."
Basically, don't forget where you come from no matter how successful you get.
4) "we're creatures of habit"
Translate this on your own. I know what my translation is.
5) [On combating alcholism]
"I did it the way everyone does. It was part of my life, and now it no longer is. But I felt that it was time not to do it anymore. I was going to have to get through things on my own."
Strength is not easy, but it's attainable. Most definitely.
6) [Pacino] "He's doing well [Al's father], and I'm happy he is. He enjoys life. I wish I could say the same.
[Interviewer]: We all can relate to that feeling at times. What keeps people from enjoying it?
[Pacino]: I wish I knew. Part of it is habit. Part of it is genes. But we overcome these things. We start to realize that there are anodynes in life that help us through the day. I don't care if it's a walk in the park, a look out the window, a good bubble bath -- whatever. Even a meal you like, or a friend you want to call. That helps us solve all this stuff in our head."
There's the gym, meditation, reading, sports, definitely eating a good meal, surrounding yourself with positive people and things... that's just my two cents.
Sources:
http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2003/03/07/1046826526522.html
http://www.usaweekend.com/03_issues/030126/030126pacino.html
******************
Now from Oprah.com: http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/personal/04/08/o.why.i.alone/index.html
I like this article bc its saying "women, do what YOU want to do in life... The boyfriend will come along when he comes along". You'll see that in a relationship, most women forget to do the things that they enjoy. All this attention and focus is on their bf/husband.
Its NICE to have that special someone, but its REWARDING to be comfortable in your own skin and do the things in your life that make you happy.
This article actually should apply to both single and attached women.
******************
Why do moments of crisis make me a freakin' philosopher philosophizing on philosophical mumbo jumbo? ;)
4.05.2008
The Sequel
DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, DAMNIT!
- Rent a piano (6 month trial to see if I still have the dedication and time for a permanent & expensive instrument)
- Piano lessons (private vs. conservatory)
- Boxing/Kickboxing lessons @ the gym
- Eating smarter
- 5-10 minutes longer on the cardio machines @ the gym
- REALLY research an idea (distribution companies)
- Buy a condo with MY name on the bank loan (sooner than I think due to talk I had with Accountant)
- Changing back jamlen.com's splash page to JAMLENEWYORK (courtesy of Kuya Charlton) - I was thinking of doing the JAMLENEWYORK splash page again. I really like it and I'm at the point where my major milestones are on hold, and I'm kind of just living LIFE; Life in NY.
- Learn fluent tagalog & spanish
Apt projects (aka trips to Home Depot):
- Change the current makeshift laundry-hanging pole in the balcony
- replace bathroom faucet with a really nice one
SO WHERE AM I NOW?!?
- Called Frank & Camille's piano store and will pay them a visit this weekend to begin renting.
- Possibly taking lessons w/ their private teachers (will inquire once I get there). There's always the conservatory, which I don't mind doing.
[so that covers piano rental + lessons]
- Spoke to the boxing/kickboxing instructor @ the gym, and said "give me a month" so that I can save up for that extra non-free class
- Just had a spinach salad yesterday w/ lots of protein, having oatmeal and fruit for breakfast this morning
- Went to the gym yesterday and did an extra 5 minutes on the cardio machine.
- Will send mail (got the address already) to prominent company to inquire about this idea I have (no, not change of jobs)
- Thinking of a condo in Brooklyn now - definitely Queens or BK. The city is reaching too high and too $$$$!!!!
- Already submitted my "specs" to my brother for the JAMLENEWYORK splash page
GEEZ, I CAN'T STOP TALKING!! :]
What some married men I work with commented about married life:
"Being married for 17 years is like 10 minutes... Under water."
[Damn]
"Marriage - I don't know what the big hype was about."
Collegue: are you married?
Me: No.... Cheers! [as we part ways w/ our coffee]
Collegue: lucky you
====================
I learned that moments of sadness need to be evaluated.
Stop. Think. What am I sad about?
Turns out, there was absolutely nothing to be sad about.
The mind plays tricks on you, but in order to see that, you have to take a moment to just stop & think.
====================
For all those stressing the F- out, out there, in the words of Bob Marley:
"Don't worry, about a thing. Coz' every little thing is gonna be alright."
Thanks to Nina for reminding me I had this song "Three Little Birds".
====================
- Rent a piano (6 month trial to see if I still have the dedication and time for a permanent & expensive instrument)
- Piano lessons (private vs. conservatory)
- Boxing/Kickboxing lessons @ the gym
- Eating smarter
- 5-10 minutes longer on the cardio machines @ the gym
- REALLY research an idea (distribution companies)
- Buy a condo with MY name on the bank loan (sooner than I think due to talk I had with Accountant)
- Changing back jamlen.com's splash page to JAMLENEWYORK (courtesy of Kuya Charlton) - I was thinking of doing the JAMLENEWYORK splash page again. I really like it and I'm at the point where my major milestones are on hold, and I'm kind of just living LIFE; Life in NY.
- Learn fluent tagalog & spanish
Apt projects (aka trips to Home Depot):
- Change the current makeshift laundry-hanging pole in the balcony
- replace bathroom faucet with a really nice one
SO WHERE AM I NOW?!?
- Called Frank & Camille's piano store and will pay them a visit this weekend to begin renting.
- Possibly taking lessons w/ their private teachers (will inquire once I get there). There's always the conservatory, which I don't mind doing.
[so that covers piano rental + lessons]
- Spoke to the boxing/kickboxing instructor @ the gym, and said "give me a month" so that I can save up for that extra non-free class
- Just had a spinach salad yesterday w/ lots of protein, having oatmeal and fruit for breakfast this morning
- Went to the gym yesterday and did an extra 5 minutes on the cardio machine.
- Will send mail (got the address already) to prominent company to inquire about this idea I have (no, not change of jobs)
- Thinking of a condo in Brooklyn now - definitely Queens or BK. The city is reaching too high and too $$$$!!!!
- Already submitted my "specs" to my brother for the JAMLENEWYORK splash page
GEEZ, I CAN'T STOP TALKING!! :]
What some married men I work with commented about married life:
"Being married for 17 years is like 10 minutes... Under water."
[Damn]
"Marriage - I don't know what the big hype was about."
Collegue: are you married?
Me: No.... Cheers! [as we part ways w/ our coffee]
Collegue: lucky you
====================
I learned that moments of sadness need to be evaluated.
Stop. Think. What am I sad about?
Turns out, there was absolutely nothing to be sad about.
The mind plays tricks on you, but in order to see that, you have to take a moment to just stop & think.
====================
For all those stressing the F- out, out there, in the words of Bob Marley:
"Don't worry, about a thing. Coz' every little thing is gonna be alright."
Thanks to Nina for reminding me I had this song "Three Little Birds".
====================