Blessed.

I was taught a simple important lesson today by my nephews: Relax.

I don't do much of it, but when I found myself not having to constantly do something or think about something, it led to one of the best weekends ever. I had so much fun with my nephews, and most of it was just by being home with them. Jordan was the best in keeping me company as I did chores at 11pm at night. I got to play and learn chess with Faisal until 3am and actually enjoyed it (and almost won). As most 20-somethings were enjoying the long weekend, I was enjoying my family. I forget to do that sometimes. I get caught up in the unimportant things and the routines of life. Only when I finally relaxed did I see what I should have been doing all along and more often.

My only regret is that I didn't start this type of weekend sooner. Now, they're leaving to live their life in the Philippines. I can only feel what is normal right now: happy and sad at the same time.

But such is life - you wish this and that, but if it happens even only once, then you're blessed. Then, you stow that moment on-file in your memory and you reach for it when you want to smile.

Float

I feel like I'm floating. When you float, you don't really move your arms or legs, you just let the current or the wind carry you off somewhere. That's what I feel like I'm doing. Sometimes, I lose the feeling that I'm in control of my destiny (sounds corny, I know, but whatever). I think I feel that way because I'm (still) not sure what I want, what I'm supposed to be, where I'm supposed to go. I'm just kinda doing stuff and this 'stuff' has an outcome, and I keep harping and stressing on the outcome - yet I don't know what the f- the outcome is. Maybe rainy days like today make me over-analyze.