The weekend

I feel like my mental and emotional state of mind is a little (sometimes a lot) schizophrenic. This entry is a little confusing because I'm not even sure what I'm typing about. Instead, let me ramble on about random weekend stuff.

Friday/Saturday:
I feel like my mind is all over the place. So restless. So indecisive and sometimes, so... retarded.

Ever think of someone who drives you bat shit crazy but end up realizing this is somehow a blessing. Some days, I feel completely lost but I know there has to be a grand plan. There always is. Just gotta be patient to let it unfold. I have a ton of insecurities, but  I'm one determined woman, in the best and worst ways. Also, being alone and being lonely are two different things. I'm learning to be alone, and sometimes it's refreshing/peaceful/needed and sometimes....not. 

Another adjustment: having no one to turn to just to say "I really really like the Dodge Dart commercials".  Sending a text is too tiresome and then you have to explain what the commercial is and I'm not doing that via text. Calling is similar - you run a chance of the person not knowing what commercial you're referring to and explaining it versus watching it doesn't have the same effect. They'll probably just say "oh.", and then you just want to hang up the phone after that because you really didn't want a full-on convo. You only wanted to say that one line "I really really like the Dodge Dart commercials", and have them know exactly what you are talking about.

Random thought: Spartacus Season 3 is back on and I'm watching so many good-looking, sweaty shirtless gladiators on screen. Mm! (there goes that extra testosterone from my workouts)

Sunday:
Quiet Sunday mornings are nice. I'll wake up at my own time and have the freedom to watch Food TV for awhile since I don't have to worry about school yet. Then I get to making breakfast. What's for breakfast? I think about what I did and ate the day before: A good workout with heavy weights, yoga, muscles are sore in new places, and I ate fairly well.  So, I'm going to load up on protein in the morning to continue "feeding" my muscles, have some carbs to fuel my errand-filled day, and treat myself to my version of a latte since I really just like my coffee black.

Crap! I have a leak under the kitchen sink and I have no clue where it is coming from. OK, this is one of the things that I don't want to deal with - where having someone else to deal with it is much easier than figuring it out on your own. For now, I'm putting an old pot there and moving on.

Random fact about me:  I don't like dijon mustard. It actually puts me in a really bad mood if I taste too much of it. So, why do I keep trying to make marinades and dressings with it? Do I want to be in a bad mood? Or do I just want to justify spending $4 on a bottle of dijon mustard because I keep seeing Ina Garten (see below) from the food network use it?

I love when I wake up to a clean apt and it smells good from the flowers/oil diffuser/candles/cleaning products. A clean apt = a calmer mind. Not complete calm, just calmER.

Oh, and I'm buying myself flowers now. This way, I put them in different areas around the apt to give some life and something pretty to look at when you least expect it.

"I believe in the sun even if it isn't shining. I believe in love even when I am alone. I believe in God even when He is silent." -forgot who said this, but I like it.