Bad Day

I don't know where to start.  How about I just got the urge to put some decent clothes on and go to a bar by myself, preferably one I can take the train to/from, and drink my Friday night blues away. Why? Because on top of a shitty day, I set the smoke alarm off and had a disaster with the oven. I just wanted to make chocolate cake from scratch!! Stupid spring foam pan had a leak.  So guess what went in the garbage... all of it - cake batter plus the pan. Oven ruined (not really, needs a good cleaning and I guess this is a good excuse to finally do that), balcony has been invaded with pigeon poop (Daaaaaad!! Helllppp!), and my 'determination' and 'wise-ness' in situations aren't always kick-ass when it makes me feel like caca.

And O.M.G. is it tough adjusting from always being with someone to being alone. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, it's freakin' lonely! It's something I'm not used to. I guess now I have no choice but to get used to it (hence, my Friday night baking fiasco. There's chocolate powder all over me and my kitchen. I probably inhaled it. Wait, shouldn't that be good?). It's not healthy to rely on someone like that. So please don't judge me and just give me time.  I'll eventually get there. Where's chronic when you need some.

Back to my bar idea. It's not even 9pm on a Friday. But if I go, I will just spend money that I should be saving, and I'll ingest bad calories to a week that I've been religiously and happily pushing myself at the gym. All that hard work for a few hours of self-pitying?  No thanks. I think I'll just drink my dark chocolate almond milk, shower and get into bed. What am I? 5 years old?  Ha, I wish! Life was easier back then. I'll start off a new day tomorrow with an overdue manicure and pedicure then head to the gym for the 6th day this week and take my frustration out there. 

Dear God, thank you for all the love I have in my life, my better-than-I'd-thought-I'd-do midterm exam grade, and for my safety with all those crazies on the subways/streets, and for beauuutiful weather. Everyday is a blessing. Thank you.